Cryogenically preserved JoePa

Not that we meant to go back-to-back on the JoePa posts, but after reading this cover how pissed is Bobby Bowden right now? Probably not as mad as his wife.

Are Penn State fans pleased with this proclamation? They can't be surprised. Seriously, the guy is kept alive through some crazy cryogenic lab in State College anyways, so who's to say he won't be coaching at 100.

Start the bidding at ...

Does anyone really need to (or want to) see the world through Joe Paterno's eyes besides JoePa? Then why would anyone want to see it through a pair of his glasses?

According to reports, Joe and his wife have donated a pair of the coach's signature thick glasses for an auction put on by PSU's public broadcasting. The auction takes place Feb 20 ... in case you want to make a bid.

To whet your appetite a bit more, JoePa autographed the glasses with a Sharpie. On second thought, the glasses might look good next to my Jerry Tarkanian towel and Bum Phillips cowboy hat.

I'll start the bidding at ...

Eatin' well in Tuscaloosa

What the hell are they eating in Tuscaloosa?

Alabama's Terrence Cody, a 6-foot-4, 370-pound, run-stopping mass of humanity did not impress many folks at the Senior Bowl when he removed his shirt. Cody may have actually made people forget former Tide OL Andre Smith's jiggling, boob-bouncing 40-yard run at the NFL combine last year.

I don't see a single muscle in Cody's physique (he actually brings an entirely new meaning to Man Boobs), but let's be honest ... the guy can play. Still, did he do any training since the Tide won the BCS Championship on Jan. 7? I'd say he spent too much time here.

Not sure how much this will hurt him on draft day considering the Bengals didn't shy away from Smith. But it may cause the team that selects Cody to reconsider the menu at the rookie camp buffet line.

Podcast: Episode 58

We're glad to be back after a week off from the podcasting world. Phil and Tom needed a little rest, but now they are ready to look at some of the hot topics in college football.

We start with an evaluation of the coaching hires around the country and evaluate who will make the most immediate impact, who will be the best long-term hire and who is the worst hire. Next, we discuss all of the recruiting wars and player poaching by coaches. Is it not time to have an early signing date for college football, much like basketball and other sports? We then shift our focus to the next decade. The SEC dominated the football landscape during the 2000s, but can it continue its dominance in the teens? There's a good chance, but as conferences look to add new teams the chances are good the SEC will come back to the rest of the pack.

We tried to get through a show without mentioning Lane Kiffin, but we couldn't do it. Sorry guys. We also pick the college football program we would play for today if either of us were 18 and had a lick of talent. Where would you go? Enjoy the show.

Runaway Lane

It appears Lane Kiffin will have to live with video tributes like this until the season begins. So enjoy the latest Kiffin spoof courtesy of LSUFreek.

Tune in Monday

We promise we'll be back Monday with a new college football podcast. We also promise to make it interesting. Would we have it any other way?

Pete Carroll keeps sense of humor

Pete Carroll's Trip to Seattle Delayed from Rob Riggle

Why can't more coaches be like Pete Carroll? Yea, he screwed USC into future NCAA probation and convinced Trojan brass to hire brain-dead Lane Kiffin. But Pete just doesn't take himself too serious.

Could you see Nick Saban doing this? Or maybe Urban Meyer wouldn't need to dial 911 when Tim Tebow slips to the fifth round of the NFL Draft in April. Didn't think so.

The Horror

Today, SI.com writer Andy Staples told me sports most dangerous job: being a college football coach.

Jesus.

Give me a freaking break, Andy.
Dangerous? No. Stressful. Sure. More dangerous and stressful than being a sportswriter? (And having been one myself) I'll say there are parking lot security guards who have more stress in their lives than some sports writers.

If it's so dangerous how come two 80-YEAR OLDS WERE COACHING MAJOR PROGRAMS LAST YEAR? Octogenarians typically do not hold dangerous jobs.

Are coaches expected to win games and recruit well each and every year? Yes. That's the deal. And they all know it and at the highest levels they're extremely well-compensated for it.

Man, I hate the offseason when we've got to make up story ideas for something to do.

Move over Lane

Just wanted to give you a little more Lane Kiffin. Here's his press conference at USC. He acts like a teenager. How did Monte Kiffin's kid get to be so wimpy? Just answer the question from T.J. Simers and move on.

I have a feeling this is not the last time we'll be posting something about Mr. Kiffin.

How not to handle a presser

As someone who has attended way too many pressers, and now helps organize them. This is not the way to do it.

How the media is acting is normal. Everyone wants the scoop or doesn't want to be left out. But the guy organizing the presser needs some medication. Give the media the ground rules and then sit back and let them duke it out. If they want to talk to the outgoing coach they'll fall into line.

Can't spell "Suck it, Lane!" without UT

After being jilted by the hot, young thing they left their wife for, Tennessee appears to be running back to the old ball and chain, as Phil Fulmer Jr., errr David Cutcliffe is considered the clubhouse leader for the head coaching job.

Cutcliffe has nine wins in two seasons at Duke, which is like 20 wins at any normal school. But his biggest achievement was making Ole Miss just good enough to get himself fired.

Texas defensive coordinator Will Muschamp and Air Force coach Troy Calhoun have each issued the standard coaching hire denials: "Who? What? I've never heard of them before. Tennesse? Don't even know where it is."

In Memoriam: Coaches lost this season

Leave it to the LSUFreek to create another classic. This is a great take on the coaching changes from this season.



(Hat Tip: EDSBS)

Podcast: Episode 57

We tried to take a week off from podcasting, but then USC, Pete Carroll and Lane Kiffin had to blow up this week.

Phil and Tom dissect the decisions of all three parties and where Tennessee goes from here in this impromptu podcast. Could the Vols go with Will Muschamp at Texas, Troy Calhoun at Air Force or throw everyone off and go an entirely different direction.

Speaking of Tennessee, what the heck was that athletic administration thinking by allowing the Traitor Kiffin to conduct a media conference at their facility. Bad call folks. So much for a week off. Enjoy the show.

Our boy no more ... Kiffin disappoints with move to USC

So Lane, just one question? Did USC agree to pay your buyout as well as Bryce Brown's?

The seismic news out of SoCal is that first-year Tennessee coach Lane Kiffin figured it was a lot easier winning in the Pac-10 than it is in the SEC (and there's no Urban Meyer to get in his head) so he is now the USC coach after going 7-5 in his one season in Knoxville. (Good news for Bruce Pearl ... that's right you're the Big Man on Campus again). He's definitely escaping Knoxville like he possesses some of that SEC speed.

Word is Kiffin is also taking his daddy--defensive wiz Monte Kiffin--and the $650,000-a-year assistant head coach Ed Orgeron.

The UT message boards and blogs are going crazy. While some at USC are hailing this hire. With the crap that Pete Carroll left behind and the pending NCAA sanctions, wouldn't have made more sense for the Trojans to hire someone who didn't have weekly run-ins with NCAA brass?

While USC seems to have its man, who does Tennessee target now? Duke's David Cutcliffe, Air Force's Troy Calhoun, Virginia Tech's Bud Foster or East Carolina's Skip Holtz make sense. But sense UT doesn't seem to mind the publicity that comes with ego-first coaches, maybe Mike Leach or Jim Leavitt could step in right away.

Let's not forget, Phil Fulmer is still interested.

Tuberville right choice for Tech

It certainly is a new day at Texas Tech.

Something just doesn't seem right watching Tommy Tuberville being introduced as the Red Raiders coach. We have questioned this hire, but his initial impression is solid. It was like watching the anti-Mike Leach.

Tuberville is a more traditional coaching choice for Texas Tech, especially since he is a defense-first guy. But he says he embraces the wide-open offense that was employed under Leach. We'll see how long that lasts, especially if you remember how well the Tony Franklin experiment went in his final season at Auburn.

Tuberville can build on Leach's success and that could mean more good days in Lubbock.

Bonus for Tuberville: It appears he found a way to re-use his Auburn sport coat and tie.

AEAAE Top 25 (Final)

We know Nick Saban has picked up all of the National Title hardware, but if he'd like the trophy that comes with winning the final AEAAE poll he should let us know in the comment section and we'll set up a meeting place.

Team (LW) Record

1. Alabama (1) 14-0
2. Texas (2) 13-1
3. Florida (6) 13-1
4. Boise State (5) 14-0
5. Ohio State (7) 11-2
6. Iowa (9) 11-2
7. TCU (3) 12-1
8. Penn State (11) 11-2
9. Cincinnati (4) 12-1
10. Virginia Tech (14) 10-3
11. Oregon (8) 10-3
12. BYU (17) 11-2
13. Nebraska (15) 10-4
14. Georgia Tech (10) 11-3
15. LSU (13) 9-4
16. Pittsburgh (18) 10-3
17. Wisconsin (23) 10-3
18. Utah (24) 10-3
19. Miami (12) 9-4
20. Central Michigan (22) 12-2
21. USC (NR) 9-4
22. Mississippi (NR) 9-4
23. West Virginia (16) 9-4
24. Clemson (NR) 9-5
25. Texas Tech (NR) 9-4

Others receiving votes: Rutgers, Navy.

Wild, crazy first day of offseason

There's enough college football news packed into the first day of the offseason than we'll probably get in the next three months (recruiting news doesn't county).

There's the rumors/credible information concerning Pete Carroll bolting for SoCal to give it another shot in the NFL with the Seattle Seahawks.

Naturally, no one at USC is sitting around waiting for Pete to make a decision. It appears to some influential Trojans have already reached out to Oregon State's Mike Riley, a former USC assistant, to see if he's interested in coming back to the Pac-10 mecca.

Of course the news at USC doesn't end there. Like rats jumping from a sinking ship, Trojan underclassmen are leaving for the NFL. WR Joe McKnight and WR Damian Williams.

The big news in Florida ... no, it has nothing to do with Urban Meyer or Tim Tebow ... is South Florida firing its one and only coach Jim Leavitt for lying and being a miserable human being.

Of course, Mike Leach doesn't want to be left out of the big day. Leach has fired back at Texas Tech administrators and accused them of making "slanderous and libelous" statements about him.

Now that's a way to start the offseason. Let's hope we get some more days like this.

McCoy handles disappointment with class

Colt McCoy deserved much better than this. Anyone questioning his toughness after he left the BCS Championship game last night with an arm injury doesn't understand football. Not to say the Longhorns would have won last night if McCoy had remained at QB. But the game would have been much more interesting.

But McCoy didn't pout or make excuses. He was first class when interviewed after the disappointing end to an amazing career.



McCoy wanted nothing more than to give Texas another championship and cement his name and reputation right along Vince Young. Despite finishing second on the biggest stage, McCoy has nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, his performance last night may have been his best ever.

Podcast: Episode 56

Less than 24 hours after watching Colt McCoy go down early and Alabama claim its 13th, seventh, fifth—I don't know who to believe—national championship, Phil and Tom are breaking down what was the perfect ending to a boring college football season.

We also take a closer look at the other BCS bowl games and discuss whether any conference can lay claim to superiority following the postseason (we like what the Big Ten accomplished on the big stage, and can't overlook the Tide and Florida).

We also look into the future a bit and discuss Terrelle Pryor, Boise State, South Florida without Jim Leavitt and the SEC. Enjoy as we are taking a week off from podcasting and probably won't return until Jan. 20.

Bowl Preview: BCS Super Duper National Championship Game for all the Marbles in the Whole Wide World

BCS National Championship
Rose Bowl, Pasadena, Ca.
Alabama vs. Texas
Date: Jan. 7
Time: 8 p.m.
TV: ABC
Line: Alabama -4

About Alabama (13-0): The Tide got here the old-fashioned Tide way - defense, boring offense and deal with Satan. RB Mark Ingram won the Heisman by being the dreaded most important player on the best team. This does not bode well for winning national titles. The big news of the week was that starting LB Rolando McClain ate a "bad taco" which in college football parlance usually means he spent a night getting shitfaced with his friends and hasn't recovered.

Intangibles:
First Heisman trophy winner: -2
Mike Shula (or was it David?): -2
Major Ogilvie: +2

About Texas (13-0): Colt McCoy. Jordan Shipley. Other guys. Texas is generally regarded as the team that lucked into getting to the title game thanks to their weak conference, downfall of a dreaded rival (Oklahoma) and some league officials determined to have the 'Horns play for another title. Good passing game. Running game? Eh. Defense? Eh.

Intangibles:
History of great college football players who suck in the pros: -1
This is college football who gives a crap: +4
Austin: +2
Rest of Texas: -4

Impact player: McCoy. Colt, that is. Great name. Better have a great game.

Bowl slogan: "We're not really a bowl. We're not really a playoff championship. We're just here and you can't do a damn thing about it."

Little Known fact: The aforementioned Satan, lord of darkness, watches Nick Saban and says "That guy is kind of an ass."

Watchability (1-5): 5

The Pick: Texas 23, Alabama 22

Podcast update

To all of our loyal podcast listeners, we will not have our customary Wednesday show. Instead, Phil and Tom are getting together Friday so we can break down the National Championship game as well as other important college football news. So come back Friday for your weekly update from An 'Eye and an 'Eer.

Bowl Preview: FedEx Orange Bowl

FedEx Orange Bowl
Land Shark Stadium, Somewhere in the hell that is South Florida
Iowa vs. Georgia Tech
Date: Jan. 5
Time: 8 p.m.
TV: FOX

About Iowa (10-2): The Hawkeyes are their traditional selves - a snoozefest on grass. They run the stretch play and run it again and run it again and then they run a QB boot and Ricky Stanzi throws an interception but then the Iowa defense intercepts the next pass and returns it for a touchdown. Victory Iowa!

Intangibles:
Stupid stand-up tight end in the 80s: -2
Chuck Long: +2
Ronnie Harmon throwing the Rose Bowl: -3

About Georgia Tech (11-2): The Yellow Jackets run the wishbone or triple option or one of those things like it's 1978. LOVE IT. Screw the pass. Unfortunately their defense kind of sucks. But keep running the ball, Paul Johnson. Don't ever change, man. (sniff).

Intangibles:
Ramblin' Wreck: +2
Yellow Jackets: -2
Bobby Cremins hair: -3
Matt Geiger's hair: -4

Impact player: Georgia Tech running back Jonathan Dwyer was considered a pre-season Heisman contender, but we all know offensive players who play a specific role in an unusual offensive system never win the Heisman, such as Andre Ware, Eric Crouch, Tommy Frazier, Danny Wuerffel, Ty Detmer and Tim Tebow. what was I saying? Oh yeah, Dwyer. Impact.

Bowl slogan: "The least important Orange Bowl since last year."

Little known fact: This game will be viewed by fewer people than that Florida - Cincinnati debaucle. (You can't spell debaucle with UC.)

Watchability (1-5): 2.4

The pick: Iowa 24, Georgia Tech 20

The many deceptions of Chris Petersen

Despite what the ESPN and Fox analysts want us to believe, we didn't find out last night that Boise State is an elite team. We learned they could outlast another mid-level team. But we also learned the Broncos coach Chris Petersen is one gutsy coach. He has more trick plays and is never afraid to use them. For that ... I love Boise State. Go Broncos!

Unflattering BCS ad to air this week

We are the last place you'll find support for a playoff, but we would like to offer some suggestions on how to make the BCS system work better. But we have to give it to the group who did this 30-second spot, that according to Sports By Brooks will air in select cities before the BCS Championship game between Alabama and Texas. This reminds us of a political campaign, and if the folks at the BCS don't want this to snowball they should consider a response ad.

All crunked up on UT

This video proves there is very little difference between being a Virginia Tech fan and a Tennessee fan. You love NASCAR, struggle with the finer points of grammar and you invented the fourth meal before Taco Bell.

Bowl Preview: Tostitos Fiesta Bowl

Tostitos Fiesta Bowl
U. of Phoenix Stadium, Glendale, Az.
Boise State vs. TCU
Date: Jan. 4
Time: 8 p.m.
TV: FOX
Line: TCU -7

About Boise State (12-0): The Broncos earned a BCS berth in the first game of the season when they beat Oregon. After that they trounced a bunch of horrible WAC teams and .. voila! ... it's the Fiesta Bowl! Boise is decent, though. They can do a bit of everything and their defense is good.

Intangibles:
Beating Oklahoma three years ago with remarkable plays: +2
Having to hear it about it every time they take the freaking field: -3
Inevitable non-stop yammering about non-BCS schools during telecast: -3

About TCU (12-0): The Mountain West's performance in bowl games will give TCU a better image than it probably should have. Their one big non-conference victory? At Clemson. A nice win, but well, it was Clemson. The Horned Frogs are fast on defense and have a nice quarterback. And they're balanced.

Intangibles:
Horned Frogs as opposed to regular frogs: +2
Trying to name three players on TCU roster: -3
Having Jesus on their side: +2

Impact Player: Boise State Kellen Moore has big numbers against crap-ass WAC teams. But Moore can be rattled with pressure and doesn't have a huge arm. Moore needs to be above average for Boise to win.

Bowl slogan: "For the world championship of teams people don't care about!"

Little known fact: I, like many people, were upset about this matchup. It's a dumb idea. The very idea behind non-BCS schools making BCS games is that it gives non team-aligned fans an underdog to root for, a system spoiler, etc. Who do you root for in this game? Who gives a crap? One of these teams finishes undefeated and they get a sombrero and some Tostitos.

Watchability (1-5): 3

The pick: TCU 34, Boise State 31

'Eye keeps replaying Rose Bowl

Anyone trying to find the 'Eye today should stop trying now. He certainly DVR'd the Rose Bowl and is on his fifth re-watch of the game just to make sure Ohio State really won. Enjoy it Phil.

Capital One embarrassment

Trying to watch any of the Capital One Bowl today was painful (almost as bad as watching Cincinnati's performance against Florida). Everyone involved with organizing that game should be embarrassed by the field conditions that Penn State and LSU were forced to deal with.

Bowl games are supposed to be a memorable experience, and not resemble the movie Hard Rain with Christian Slater. We already witnessed earlier in the week when Miami's Graig Cooper suffered a nasty injury because of the miserable field conditions. This should not have happened and it needs to be remedied before they play another bowl game here.

The above image is from Penn State assistant Jay Paterno's Twitter feed (Hat Tip: Dr. Saturday).

My arm's not supposed to bend that way

Florida is taking care of business in the Sugar Bowl, but RB Jeff Demps suffered an ugly injury to his left arm as he tried to regain his balance. We don't like posting these videos, but it seems you all want to see them. The video quality is poor, but it's the only one we could find at this point.

Bowden plants his spear

We are always talking about the traditions of college football are what make it the best game played. Watching outgoing FSU coach Bobby Bowden plant the flaming Seminoles' flag at midfield before the Gator Bowl today was an emotional moment. Wasn't real pleased with the outcome of the game, but a great moment.

No class Nittany Lions

I'll say it again ... Penn State fans are classless.

Hey Corso, the kid is blind

This is what Lee Corso gets for picking Oregon to win the Rose Bowl. The ESPN idiot tries to shake the hand of a blind boy during today's Game Day. It hasn't been Corso's best season.

The only thing funnier this season was when Wisconsin QB Scott Tolzien couldn't get any love from his teammates who aren't blind.