Cryogenically preserved JoePa

Not that we meant to go back-to-back on the JoePa posts, but after reading this cover how pissed is Bobby Bowden right now? Probably not as mad as his wife.

Are Penn State fans pleased with this proclamation? They can't be surprised. Seriously, the guy is kept alive through some crazy cryogenic lab in State College anyways, so who's to say he won't be coaching at 100.

The Horror

Today, SI.com writer Andy Staples told me sports most dangerous job: being a college football coach.

Jesus.

Give me a freaking break, Andy.
Dangerous? No. Stressful. Sure. More dangerous and stressful than being a sportswriter? (And having been one myself) I'll say there are parking lot security guards who have more stress in their lives than some sports writers.

If it's so dangerous how come two 80-YEAR OLDS WERE COACHING MAJOR PROGRAMS LAST YEAR? Octogenarians typically do not hold dangerous jobs.

Are coaches expected to win games and recruit well each and every year? Yes. That's the deal. And they all know it and at the highest levels they're extremely well-compensated for it.

Man, I hate the offseason when we've got to make up story ideas for something to do.

Bowden plants his spear

We are always talking about the traditions of college football are what make it the best game played. Watching outgoing FSU coach Bobby Bowden plant the flaming Seminoles' flag at midfield before the Gator Bowl today was an emotional moment. Wasn't real pleased with the outcome of the game, but a great moment.

Bowl Preview: Konica Minolta Gator Bowl

Konica Minolta Gator Bowl
Municipal Stadium, Jacksonville, Fla.
West Virginia vs. Florida State
Date: Jan. 1
Time: 1 p.m.
TV: CBS
Line: West Virginia -2.5

About West Virginia (9-3): The Mountaineers of the sweater-vested and slightly confused Bill Stewart have been very close to being very good. They've also been very close to being very bad. Which I guess puts them about where they should be.

Intangibles:
Coach not retiring: -2
Chick as mountaineer: +2
Pat Lazear rap sheet: (redacted)

About Florida State (6-6): Bobby Bowwden is retiring (sniff, sniff) - about eight years too late of course. The 'Noles finally put together a somewhat effective offense this year and the pass defense sucked. geesh. Of course, FSU has no business being in this game but due to St. Bobby's "retirement" road show, they get a New Year's Day Bowl.

Intangibles:
Terry Bowden: -1
Tommy Bowden: -2
Jeff Bowden: -3
Dadgum: -1

Impact player: Noel Devine. This midget needs to get the ball more. Gotta feed the kids, ya know?

Bowl slogan: "We'll fill the seats no matter how ridiculous it may seem."

Little known fact: Chris Rix no longer plays for Florida State. I miss those days.

Watchability (1-5): 2.8

The pick: Florida State 28, West Virginia 24

Podcast: Episode 51

It may be championship weekend in many of the conferences, but nothing seems to be more important than who'll replace Charlie Weis as coach at Notre Dame (OK, maybe Tiger Woods is more important, but this is about college football). Bob Stoops and Urban Meyer have said no thanks. Brian Kelly is politicking hard for the spot, but hey he's trying to get out of Cincinnati. So what's wrong with Notre Dame? Is this job just not as highly coveted as the Fighting Irish faithful think it is?

We couldn't overlook the retirement of Bobby Bowden and what faces Jimbo Fisher now that he's in charge. Phil and Tom also break down the championship games, as well as look at Toby Gerhart's chances of winning the Heisman Trophy, and they also give you their picks for second-half surprises.

So if you have the time listen to this week's podcast.

Podcast: Episode 50

We're coming at you a little early this week because of the Thanksgiving holiday, but we are definitely in a celebratory mood as we hit the 50 mark in podcasts. So here's what's on this week's An 'Eye and an 'Eer: College Football Podcast.

Of the remaining undefeated teams who is most likely to lose? Calling Cincinnati ... Bearcats do you hear me? We also look at the big Florida State-Florida game and wonder if Bobby Bowden and Mickey Andrews can call up the ghosts of Charlie Ward and Deion Sanders to pull off a major upset in The Swamp? Probably not, but it's nice to consider.

So who do you think has done the worst coaching job in 2009? There are some easy choices, but it seems are fearless podcasters don't like some guy name Weis and another one named Stoops. Tom and Phil also dissect Les Miles' meltdown in Mississippi as well as the Heisman Trophy race.

Poor ol' Bobby

Poor ol' Bobby. It seems everyone realizes it's time for him to retire, but .... himself.

JEFFYBOY, IS THAT YOU? DADGUMMIT, I'M SORRY I FIRED YOU.

The remainder of the Bobby Bowden era got the ol' "CLEAR!" chest paddle treatment tonight, as the 'Noles rallied to beat UNC in Chapel Hill. (Gaylord Hotels Music City Bowl here we come!)

Earlier, Bobby Bowden let some reporters know that he was well aware that he was in the last year(S) of his coaching career.

Oh Bobby, you're 80 buddy, you're in the last years OF YOUR LIFE. Rent an RV, see one of your 348 grandchildren. Buy a condo. But quit pretending that you're coaching a college football team.

Podcast: Episode 44

Apparently we can stop the college football season and just let Florida and Alabama play for the national championship. At least that seems to be the consensus around the nation. However, the podcast bozos from An 'Eye and 'Eer just don't see it that way. In fact, we believe Florida and Alabama are outstanding football teams, but maybe a bit overrated considering how weak the SEC is this year. So let's allow the games to be played and see where things fall.

Episode 44 also delves into the good and bad of instant replay, as well as a preview to some of this weekend's big games (USC-Notre Dame, Cincinnati-South Florida and the Red River Rivalry). Surprisingly it is the second week in a row that we talk about Bobby Bowden and what lies ahead. Somehow we also found a way to include Al Groh, Terrelle Pryor, and Marshall into the show. Happy listening.

Baffling the Bowden

Poor Bobby Bowden. With all of the heat he's been taking lately you'd think he'd be pleased with a 35-28 halftime lead over Georgia Tech. Instead, the ol' man seems confused and displeased with the Noles. Maybe he knew his team would blow another game and fall to 0-3 in the ACC. Watch his confusion here:

T.K. Wetherell - King of England?

The whole Bobby Bowden fire/retire/stand idly on sideline for another year issue continues to swirl in Tallahassee.

Any way you look at this thing, it's a mess.
And then erstwhile Florida State University president T.K. Wetherell added nothing to this conversation with today's statement to the media.

Essentially, Wetherell says FSU isn't going to decide anything until the season is over. Of course, since he's the president of a university that gives away diplomas and everything, he couldn't say it in such a simple way.


"FSU does not make coaching changes in the middle of the season," Wetherell said. "… To quit on a team or coaches in mid-season is not the Seminole way — not the 'Unconquered' way.

"What message would it send to anyone — friend or foe — to do that at this time?"

Is that a press release or a Tennyson poem?

End of the line for Bowden?

This can't be the way Bobby Bowden wanted to wrap up his career as a coaching legend. By now Bowden figured he'd have about 20 more wins than Joe Paterno and he'd just collect ACC championships and wins without doing much work. Watch this video and you'll see he's none too happy and he's feeling the pressure, much like he did in the mid-1970s as WVU's coach.




Check out the poor attempt at a joke when he talks about women. Coach Bowden, or as one of my childhood friends likes to call him, The Old Liver Spot, isn't looking too good these days.

Observations from Saturday's games (Sept. 26)

Until it reaches the middle of October there are no upsets. This weekend is more proof why rankings shouldn't begin at least until four weeks into the season (note to all readers: 'Eye and 'Eer rankings begin Monday).

So don't get that excited about No. 6 Cal losing at Oregon, Florida State falling to South Florida, or No. 5 Ole Miss losing at South Carolina (Thursday), and so on. Let's get to the rest of the 'Eer's observations from today.

1. Is there a better receiver in the country than Cincinnati's Mardy Gilyard? If you find him let me know. Gilyard is elusive and a nightmare for DBs because he can go long on anyone or take a short dump pass from Tony Pike and score. In the Bearcats 28-20 victory over Fresno State, Gilyard had nine catches for 177 yards and two scores. Nice day.

2. Is there a conference that needs a signature win more than the ACC? Since Notre Dame is an independent it's tough to pick the Irish, so the ACC is it. Saturday was a mixed bag for the league. Clemson losing at home to No. 15 TCU (14-10), Rutgers thumping Maryland in College Park (34-13), and No. 18 FSU playing inconsistent against South Florida (17-7) were devastating for the ACC. It didn't even help that No. 11 Virginia Tech dominated No. 9 Miami and Georgia Tech routed No. 22 North Carolina in Atlanta. The Canes and Tar Heels had a chance to represent the league on a higher level.

3. Is it time for Bobby Bowden to call it a career? It's actually time for the Seminoles to clean house. Not only should Bowden go, but so should the rest of the staff. Any team that plays as inconsistent as the Noles is showing the signs of multiple coaching deficiencies.

4. What happens to The U now? The loss in Blacksburg isn't a surprise, but how the Hokies dominated all game is the shocker. Miami must let it go and get ready for No. 10 Oklahoma or the Hurricanes will quickly go from BCS contender to 2-2. Jacory Harris seems like the type of guy who can put it behind him. However, I question wheather the Canes defense can.

5. Is the SEC still the nation's best conference? Sure, but the league is extremely top heavy (No. 1 Florida and No. 3 Alabama). The Gators and Crimson Tide are arguably the best two in the country, but after that it gets pretty sketchy. Mississippi State had No. 7 LSU on the ropes in Baton Rouge, Tennessee is struggling with Ohio out of the Mid-American Conference, Arizona State is putting up a fight in Athens against Georgia, and consider No. 4 Ole Miss' loss at South Carolina Thursday. However, South Carolina and Auburn should be considered for the Top 25.

6. Should Michigan be concerned after a close win against Indiana? Not at all. The Wolverines are 4-0 and have eclipsed last year's 3-9 season. Of course, Rich Rodriguez and the fans would have enjoyed an easy win this week, but that's not going to happen too often in Big Ten play with such a young team. UM fans should be encouraged that the Wolverines battled down the stretch and frosh Tate Forcier led them on another late TD for the win. Last year's team wouldn't have done that.

7. Who's the happiest coach after Saturday's games? Ohio State's Jim Tressel. The Buckeyes were not flashy in defeating Illinois 30-0 in The Shoe, but Tressel has to love that stat sheet. OSU rushed for 236 yards and passed for 82. That's the type of ball control Tress loves.

8. What was the biggest surprise of the day? Jim Tressel going for it fourth-and-goal from 3 with 1:18 to play the Vest decided to go for it up 23-0. Terrelle Pryor found Dane Sanzenbacher for the score. I don't have a problem with the call, just doesn't fit his personality.

9. What's wrong with Big Ten officials? I have no proof, and don't want to sound like Charlie Weis, but it seems Big Ten refs are flag happy. Watching the Michigan-Indiana game was painful because of all the questionable calls. However, the worst call came on the Hoosiers' final drive when Michigan's Donovan Warren was credited with interception when it was clear Demarlo Belcher had the reception and the ball was pulled away on the ground. I felt bad for IU as it was going for its first win in The Big House since 1967. Indian coach Bill Lynch was not too pleased with the call.

10. Is Boise State a legitimate Top 5 team? Hell no. Of course LA Times dolt Bill Plaschke thinks the Broncos should be ranked No. 1. Boise has a nice team, but does anyone really think they could consistently play the conference schedule of any BCS conference and not lose at least three games? Didn't think so.

Podcast: Episode 34

Phil and Tom put down their Xbox wireless controllers long enough to give you 30-plus minutes of College Football banter. We both believe Urban Meyer wants to stay at Florida, but what if Notre Dame comes calling with $8 million a year? It would be tough for the good Catholic boy to pass up the "Dream Job." It's not a shock that Joe Paterno is on Bobby Bowden's side and thinks the NCAA is wrong to strip the FSU coach of 14 victories. Our question is when was the last time Paterno or Bowden actually earned a victory. Shouldn't most of those wins the past few years go to an assistant coach? We also unveil our top three college games we attended in person. Enjoy the show.

Podcast: Episode 31

Time to dissect Phil and Tom's preseason conference rankings (Phil totally trashes Tom's ACC picks). We also take a look at the potential of BCS busters joining BCS conferences and does that make sense, as well as the most over-rated and most under-rated coaches today. We also think the NCAA will uphold its decision to take away victories from Bobby Bowden, and that Our Boy Lane Kiffin may actually be crazy. Enjoy.

Preseason: ACC rankings

Continuing our way-too-early preseason conference predictions, it is time to look at ACC.

Atlantic Division
1. Florida State
Key players: QB Christian Ponder, DE Kevin McNeil, FB Marcus Sims, LB Kendall Smith.
Predicted record: 9-3
Maybe I'm reaching by having FSU reach the top of the division. There have been plenty of distractions for the Seminoles, starting with the NCAA trying to take away 14 victories from Coach Bowden. It doesn't help that the Noles had to suspend receiver Rod Owens and the NCAA didn't grant Corey Surrency another year of eligibility. FSU may also start three or four freshmen.

2. North Carolina State
Key players: TB Toney Baker, QB Russell Wilson, S Clem Johnson, LB Ray Michael.
Predicted record: 9-3
The Wolfpack are ready to make a move in year three under Tom O'Brien. N.C. State played an almost perfect game against rival North Carolina last year, so expect more of that this season. The Pack are deep at QB with Russell Wilson and Mike Glennon, who could be starting at a few other ACC programs.

3. Wake Forest
Key players: QB Riley Skinner, DT Boo Robinson, WR Jordan Williams, CB Brandon Ghee.
Predicted record: 7-5
This sounds odd to say, but the Demon Deacons were decimated by the NFL Draft, especially on defense (see Aaron Curry). Word out of Winston Salem is the defense isn't in as bad of shape as many may think. Expect a lot more for Riley Skinner this fall, and never underestimate the genius of Jim Grobe.

4. Maryland
Key players: QB Chris Turner, TB Da'Rel Scott, WR Torrey Smith, DB Terrell Skinner.
Predicted record: 7-5
Ralph Friedgen has dropped almost 100 pounds. That's not good news for the Denny's and Waffle House's around College Park. There is positive news about the Terps defense, which is is important in the ACC. Offensively Friedgen usually works miracles, but can he do it with quarterback Chris Turner?

5. Clemson
Key players: RB C.J. Spiller, QB Willy Korn, WR Jacoby Ford, LB Kavell Conner, DE Ricky Sapp.
Predicted record: 6-6
Dabo Swinney is the coach. I could probably stop here. But the first-year coach has a quarterback controversy as both Willy Korn and Kyle Parker are listed as starters for the upcoming season. Besides, this is Clemson. The Tigers will find a way to be mediocre again.

6. Boston College
Key players: DE Austin Giles, LB Mark Herzlich, QB Dominique Davis, RB Josh Haden.
Predicted record: 4-8
Let's not even get into the whole coaching fiasco this winter. Boston College has been one of the ACC's best teams the past two years. But there are too many question marks and the devastating news that ACC Defensive Player of the Year Mark Herzlich has cancer could mean a long season in Chestnut Hill.

Coastal Division
1. Virginia Tech
Key players: QB Tyrod Taylor, TB Darren Evans, S Dorian Porch, LB Cody Grimm.
Predicted record: 10-2
Tyrod Taylor is a unique talent, and if he stays healthy could lead the Hokies to a memorable season. Defensively, Virginia Tech could be the best in the ACC when all is said and done. Special teams remain a strength, but the Hokies may be weaker than normal at kicker.

2. Georgia Tech
Key players: QB Josh Nesbitt, TB Jonathan Dwyer, C Sean Bedford, LB Sedric Griffin, DE Robert Hall.
Predicted record: 9-3
The rest of the ACC will be a little more comfortable defending against Paul Johnson's triple-option. The Jackets are also more comfortable with the system, so GT could be the team to knock off Virginia Tech.

3. North Carolina
Key players: QB T.J. Yates, DE E.J. Wilson, TB Shaun Draughn, LB Bruce Carter.
Predicted record: 8-4
The Tar Heels are all about defense, which is a normal trait under Butch Davis. The offense should be solid, but finding experience at receiver is still a priority (especially trying to replace do-everything receiver Hakeem Nicks.

4. Miami (FL)
Key players: QB Jacory Harris, TB Graig Cooper, C A.J. Trump, DT Joe Joseph, CB Ryan Hill.
Predicted record: 6-6
I like that the U won't have any doubts at quarterback with Robert Marve off to Purdue and Jacory Harris taking all of the snaps now. However, Miami is still very young, has a tough schedule and must adjust to two new coordinators. The defense is extremely athletic.

5. Duke
Key players: QB Thaddeus Lewis, LB Vincent Rey, RB Re'quan Boyette.
Predicted record: 4-8
I want to believe the Blue Devils will make bigger strides under David Cutcliffe in his second year, but this is Duke. Thaddeus Lewis may have to carry this team on his shoulders for Duke to reach .500.

6. Virginia
Key players: WR Mikell Simpson, OG B.J. Cabbell, LB Steve Greer, QB Jameel Sewell, FB Rashawn Jackson.
Predicted record: 3-9
Al Groh is desperate this season. He fired his son last year and has turned the offense over to Gregg Brandon. Jameel Sewell returns at quarterback after missing last season with an injury. It's going to be a long season in Charlottesville.

Dadgummit, y'all are just mean

Shockingly, Bobby Bowden thinks the NCAA's recommended penalty of taking away past victories from his FSU program is "too stiff." Bowden, who is one game behind JoePa in all-time victories in Division I, could lose as many as 14 wins under the ruling. FSU athletes across all sports apparently cheated in an online music history class.

Online music history. And there was cheating? Get out.

"Does the punishment fit the crime? I think that's the thing, that's the thing we gotta find the answer to right there," Bowden said.

Uh, Bobby, I think when the NCAA hands down a punishment, they do it specifically with the crime in mind. In fact, I'd say that is EXACTLY WHAT DETERMINES THE PUNISHMENT. HENCE THE ENTIRE CRIME AND PUNISHMENT FACTOR.

Coach-in-Waiting no more

Congratulations Chip Kelly. You've accomplished what Florida State's Jimbo Fisher hopes to do to Bobby Bowden, and what Texas' Will Muschamp may wait a very long time for Mack Brown to hand over the keys to the Longhorns.

Kelly becomes the head coach at Oregon on March 30 after Mike Bellotti announced his resignation today to become the Ducks' Director of Athletics on July 1. Bellotti will be a tough act to follow. He finishes with a 116-55 record, and his 72 Pac-10 victories ranks sixth in conference history.

Kelly is considered one of the top offensive coaches in the country, and his understanding of the Xs and Os made him a top coaching candidate. Therefore, Oregon brass decided to follow the latest trend and name him Bellotti's coach-in-waiting. He just didn't have to wait that long.

That has to piss off Fisher and Muschamp.

Podcast: Episode 25

Now for some questions. If the NCAA really makes Florida State vacate a number of victories because of the latest scandal is this the beginning of the end for Bobby Bowden? Is there anyone more exciting for college football right now than Lane Kiffin at Tennessee? Do we really need spring football games? What was UT-San Antonio thinking when it hired Larry Coker? These are just a few of the topics that Phil and Tom discuss this week on their College Football Podcast.

Even FSU has standards

Even though it involved notorious rules-breaker Florida State, and the very lenient Bobby Bowden (damn he's getting tougher in his old age), it comes as no surprise that Seminoles wide receiver Preston Parker was dismissed from the team.

Parker was arrested Saturday morning and charged with DUI after police found him passed out behind the wheel of his car at a McDonald's, according to the Tallahassee Democrat.

Even FSU couldn't let Parker stick around any longer. This had to be a tough decision since the Seminoles are thin at receiver. In 2008, Parker led all wide receivers with 40 catches.