Bowl Preview: Gator Bowl

Gator Bowl
Jacksonville Municipal Stadium, Jacksonville, Fla.
Nebraska vs. Clemson
Date: Jan. 1
Time: 1 p.m.
TV: CBS
Line: Clemson –2.5

About Nebraska: The Cornhuskers play in the Big 12 North, which must be nice. It’s kind of like the Chargers being lucky enough to play in the AFC West. I mean, somebody’s gotta win it, right? Nebraska isn’t particularly good in any area of the game. But Bo Pelini curses a lot, so they’ve got that going for them.

Intangibles:
Bill Callahan fired: +5
Bo Pelini coaching: +2
Bo Pelini playing safety at Ohio State in late 80s: -6
1984 Orange Bowl: +4
Completely undeserving of being in a New Year’s Day Bowl: -3

About Clemson: The Tigers got a head start this year, imploding at the beginning of the season and firing Tommy Bowden. They replaced him with Dabo Swinney, who nobody had ever heard of before, after Swinney wasn’t totally awful as the coach. Nice standards. I hear Ohio State is considering hiring Darryl Hazell as it’s next head coach. See what I mean, Clemson?

Intangibles:
Death Valley: +2
Touch the rock: -1
Touching themselves: +3
Overinflated opinion of football program: -4
Completely undeserving of being in a New Year Day’s Bowl: -3

Impact Player: One of those Clemson running backs that doesn’t get the ball enough. James Davis and C.J. Spiller. Really, there’s no reason for Clemson to throw the ball.

Bowl slogan: “yeah, we know. But their fans travel.”

Little known fact: Whoever wins this game will point to it as some big win that means the program is “back.” In fact, it will just be a win over another bad football team.

Watchability (1-5): 2

The Pick: Clemson 30, Nebraska 24

Bowl Prevew: Capital One Bowl

Capital One Bowl
Citrus Bowl, Orlando
Michigan State vs. Georgia
Date: Jan. 1
Time: 1 p.m.
TV: ABC
Line: Georgia –7.5

About Michigan State: The Spartans are always so cute. They play hard against good teams and think they’re relevant. Hey, that Javon Ringer is something. The rest of the team? Uh, that Javon Ringer sure is somethin’!

Intangibles:
Bobby Williams not coaching: +5
John L. Smith not coaching: +3
Blake Ezor: +2
T.J. Duckett to beat UM with no time on clock: hahahaha +4

About Georgia: After whipping up on a hilariously-poor Hawaii team in last year’s Sugar Bowl, the ‘Dawgs entered 2008 ranked No. 1. They proceeded to prove exactly how misguided that notion was by getting hammered at home by Bama and giving up 900 rushing yards to Georgia Tech to finish the season. Congrats on your national title, UGA!

Intangibles:
Savannah; +4
Rest of Georgia: -3
REM before 1995: +3
REM after 1995: -6

Impact Player: UGA quarterback Matthew Stafford will probably be the No. 1 pick in the NFL draft if he comes out, just based on talent. Based on production and consistency he might be the first pick of the Arena League. Kid’s gotta gun, but if he’s scattershot, the Spartans have a chance.

Bowl slogan: “Steve Spurrier would kill to get to this bowl game now.”

Little known fact: MSU quarterback Brian Hoyer is even more inconsistent than Stafford.

Watchability (1-5): 4

The Pick: Georgia 31, Michigan State 27

Did someone get the license plate?

Can someone tell me how Oklahoma State's Zac Robinson got up from this hit in last night's Holiday Bowl against Oregon? That's one tough SOB. He bounces right up, but watch as he's walking back to the huddle how he starts to stumble. He got crunched on that hit.

Bowl Preview: Outback Bowl

Outback Bowl
Raymond James Stadium, Tampa Bay
Iowa vs. South Carolina
Date: Jan. 1
Time: 11 a.m.
TV: ESPN
Line: Iowa -4

About Iowa: In an effort to continue their reign as college football’s most boring team, the Hawkeyes still run an endless supply of stretch plays and QB boots with incomplete passes. Kirk Ferentz is often rumored to take this boringness to the NFL where boring is a Sunday ritual.

Intangibles:
Chuck Long: +2
Hayden Fry: +1
Pink locker rooms: +2
Iowa City: -4

About South Carolina: After a brief resurgence under Lou Holtz, the Gamecocks have become comfortingly crappy under Steve Spurrier. Under a defensive genius like Spurrier, South Carolina has become known for its tremendous defense only to be hampered by a horrible offense and terrible quarterback play. Perhaps they should think about bringing in a new offensive coordinator.

Intangibles:
90 percent of fans think wearing “Cocks’ hat hilarious: -5
50 percent of fans talk like Foghorn Leghorn; -3
20 percent of fans look like Civil War general: -1
Weather: +5

Impact Player: Iowa running back Shonn Greene looks like a human fireplug. Amazing how much one good running back can make a sickly offense seem adequate.

Bowl slogan: “Outback” Rewarding mediocrity in football – much like our steaks.”

Little known fact: Only bowl game with a pirate ship.

Watchability (1-5): 3

The Pick: Iowa 24, South Carolina 12

Podcast: Episode 19

With five bowl games on New Year's Eve and another five on New Year's Day, Phil and Tom have plenty to discuss. Can the Big 10 win a bowl game? Is anyone going to watch the Orange Bowl? How important was Notre Dame's win in the Sheraton Hawaii Bowl for Charlie Weis? The guys also talk about the future for Ohio State and West Virginia, as well as take a look at some of the bright spots from the bowl season and some of the not so bright spots. Hope you enjoy Episode 19.

Feed Shark

New Mexico: Haven for black coaches

It has been a good month to be a potential African American head football coach.

New Mexico State will officially announce UCLA defensive coordinator DeWayne Walker as the Aggies new coach on Wednesday (Dec. 31, 2008). Walker, who just finished his third season with the Bruins, becomes the seventh black head coach at the 119 major college football programs. Even more noteworthy is Walker is the fourth hired this month.

Earlier hires are Mike Haywood at Miami of Ohio, Ron English at Eastern Michigan and Mike Locksley at New Mexico.

It seems the non-BCS schools are more willing to take a chance on black coaches. Why? Much less pressure from big-spending alumni. In fact, many of these schools hope to be viewed by the media and other outsiders as forward thinking and willing to give a long shot an opportunity. Whatever the reason, I applaud the effort.

An interesting sidebar to this story, that I found at Dr. Saturday's blog, is that New Mexico, which has one of the nation's smallest black populations, now has black head football coaches at the state's flagship universities.

Bowl Preview: Chick-fil-a Bowl

Chick-fil-A Bowl
Georgia Dome, Atlanta
Georgia Tech vs. LSU
Date: Dec. 31
Time: 8 p.m.
TV: ESPN
Line: Georgia Tech -4

About Georgia Tech: The Yellow Jackets are going for their second straight embarrassment of an SEC "power" after thumping Georgia to end the season. GaTech ran for 1,200 yards in that game. Maybe it just seemed that way. But the Jackets can defintely run the ball.

Intangibles:
'Ramblin Wreck: +4
Three Amigos: +2
In Atlanta: +4
In Atlanta traffic: -4

About LSU: You may recall them as last year's national champs. But this year they was Implosion Island on the Bayou as the Tigers forgot how to play defense and had a quarterback from a local high school's JV team take over. Not the best combination.

Intangibles:
"Tiguh Bayt!": -5
Death Valley: +3
Hate Saban: +3
Hate Everyone else too: -1

Impact player: LSU QB Jarrett Lee. This kid was pretty bad, but if he plays well the Tigers can be a decent squad. Now, what exactly are the chances of that happening?

Little known fact: Chick-fil-A is not that good. It's okay, but I don't really get the love.

The Pick: LSU 31, Georgia Tech 26

Bowl Preview: Insight Bowl

Insight Bowl
Sun Devil Stadium, Tempe, Az.
Kansas vs. Minnesota
Date: Dec. 31
Time: 8 p.m.
TV: NFL Network
Line: Kansas -9

About Kansas: Yes, Mark Mangino is still fat. But that fat SOB can coach. You know how much NFL talent is on this team? About the same amount that was on my college flag football team. But they're decent and every time I've seen them they play hard. That's all cute, but they're still Kansas. Mangino should leave soon.

Intangibles:
Rock, Chalk Jayhawk: +5
Not Kansas State: +2
Not Oklahoma: +3
Not Nebraska: -2

About Minnesota: The Gophers were pathetic last year. They won one game. Then second-year coach Tim Brewster put his best Zooker Professor Positive spin on everything and recruited the hell out of everybody. (Except his own kid, who went to Texas. smart move, son.) This year Minnehaha won some games and was even ranked for awhile before imploding to end the season in a funk.

Intangibles:
Open new stadium next year: +4
Playing outdoors in Minnesota in November: -8 (degrees)
Rickey Foggie: +4
Jim Wacker era: +.5

Impact player: Kansas QB Todd Reesing. I love watching this dude play cause he's about my height and slow. But damned if he doesn't get some stuff done. He can also be horrifically inconsistent and turn the ball over a lot.

Little known fact: This is the second bowl game no one will get to see because it's on the NFL Network which has a distribution of 14 homes. But 4 of those 14 people REALLY like it.

The Pick: Minnesota 28, Kansas 27

Pet Peeve

I'm tired of the whole four fingers for the fourth quarter thing.

What's that mean, anyway?

"Didn't mean it those first three quarters. just messin' around. but NOW we're going to play hard. Cause it's the fourth quarter. The last one. don't have another after this. Unless we go to overtime. And then we'll jump around spelling O-T! O-T! Cause then THAT would be the most important. As opposed to now, which is four."

Stupid.

Bowl Preview: Gaylord Hotels Music City Bowl

Gaylord Hotels Music City Bowl
LP Field, Nashville, Tenn.
Vanderbilt vs. Boston College
Date: Dec. 31
Time: 4:30 p.m.
TV: ESPN
Line: Boston College -3.5

About Vanderbilt: The Commodores were an absolutely AMAZING team this year, fielding one of the best Vanderbilt squads ever! They went 6-6. And their bowl game is 20 minutes from their campus. Yeah, congrats. At least they can play defense.

Intangibles:
Students dress like prom dates for football games: -4
Fancy, schmancy degree: +3
Couldn't even beat Tennessee: -5

About Boston College: The Eagles just keep rolling along, slightly above mediocrity and happy to be there. I like BC. They play hard, they're not fancy and they know their place as an 8-4 team, with variations going from 7-5 to 9-3 without huge coaching upheaval. It could be beacuse nobody in Boston cares.

Intangibles:
Clam Chowdah: +2
Flutie pass beating Miami: +7
Flutie pass stealing Heisman from Keith Byars: -98
Red Sox fans: -7

Impact Player: Boston College Dominique Davis took over about midway through the year after an injury to starter Chris Crane. Davis has been alternately decent and absolutely awful. Like in the ACC championship game when he threw something like 14 straight incompletions. Not making that one up.

Little Known fact: Ha. you totally said "Gaylord".

The Pick: Boston College 22, Vanderbilt 16

Bowl Preview: Brut Sun Bowl

Brut Sun Bowl
Sun Bowl Stadium, El Paso, Tx.
Oregon State vs. Pittsburgh
Date: Dec. 31
Time: 2 p.m.
TV: CBS
Line: Oregon State -2.5

About Oregon State: The Beavers almost went to the Rose Bowl. Heck, they even beat USC. Instead, they're in El Paso for the holidays. Although, I guess when you're from Corvallis, El Paso doesn't seem so bad.

Intangibles:
Mike Riley is a really nice guy: +2
Mike Riley is your coach: -2
Dennis Erickson era: -4
Chad Johnson "attended" OSU: -3
Beating USC: +4

About Pittsburgh: Dave Wannstedt took over his alma mater and has quickly led them all the way to El Paso. With the exception of RB LeSean McCoy, who somehow let Wannstedt waste his talent at Pitt, the Panthers are so boring it hurts.

Intangibles:
Peppi's North Side: +8
The 'Stache: +3
Play in Heinz Field, not near campus: -4
Pierogies: +2

Impact player: Jacquizz and James Rodgers will have the biggest impact, since neither of these miraculous midgets is playing for Oregon State. That hurts. Much like their tiny, tiny shoulders.

Little Known Fact: The Village People are performing at halftime (absolutely freaking true). Between that and the reek of Brut, this should be the Studio 54 Bowl.

The Pick: Pitt 24, Oregon State 17

Bowl Preview: Armed Forces Bowl

Bell Helicopter Armed Forces Bowl
Amon G. Carter Stadium, Fort Worth, Tx.
Houston vs. Air Force
Date: Dec. 31
Time: Noon
TV: ESPN
Line: Houston -3.5

About Air Force: The Cadets losses came to Utah, TCU, BYU, Navy and Utah. Their wins came over much lesser opponents. They still run that pseudo-wishbone thing with all kind of motion and pitches - it's awesome! Is Fisher DeBerry still the coach? What a great name. Who is it now? Oh. It's some guy named Troy.

Intangibles:
B-52: +3
P-38: -2
Falcon thing at halftime: +3
1990 Liberty Bowl: -7

About Houston: The Cougars score 41 points a game and give up 31 points a game. WHAT? I give up. Defense is dead. Just stick 11 corpses in a pile at midfield and save the scholarship money.

Intangibles:
Phi Slamma Jamma: +4
David Klingler: -4
"Houston Oilers, Houston Oilers, Houston Oilers Number One": +5

Impact Player: Houston QB Case Keenum throws for 397 yards a game has 43 touchdowns and 10 intercaeptions. Of course, this is the pretty much the same offense that suckered the Eagles into drafting that stiff Kevin Kolb. Buyer beware.

Little Known Fact: These two teams already played once this year, which Air Force won 31-28. I guess rematches are inevitable when there are 134 bowl games.

Little Known Fact #2: Last year's Houston coach Art Briles left to go to Baylor. When your coach leaves your program to go to freaking Baylor, you might want to rethink your committment to the sport.

The Pick: Houston 42, Air Force 28

Bowl Preview: Holiday Bowl

Pacific Life Holiday Bowl
Qualcomm Stadium, San Diego
Oregon vs. Oklahoma State
Date: Dec. 30
Time: 8 p.m.
TV: ESPN
Line: Oklahoma State -3

About Oklahoma State: We all know by now that Cowboy coach Mike Gundy is a “man.” He’s also one of those visor-wearing, “I’m-smarter-than-you” Stever Spurrier 2.0 coaches that have infiltrated college football with fancy playbooks and computers diagramming plays or whatever. Anyway, the Cowboys rack up big yards and lots of points against nobodies and then fold against decent competition. Same old…

Intangibles:
T. Boone Pickens: +161 million
T. Boone Pickens after September: +90 million
Barry Sanders: +6
Dexter Manley: -4
Thurman Thomas: +4
Hart Lee Dykes: -3


About Oregon: Like every other freaking team in these previews, the Ducks can score. Criminy, against Oregon State they almost had 700 freaking yards of offense. 700! Jesus. Does anyone tackle anymore?

Intangibles:
Phil Knight: +4
Phil Knight in Indonesia, India and China: -8
Hippies: +2
Joey Harrington: -4


Impact Player: LeGarrette Blount. Love the name. A big old boy from the south who came to Oregon cause he thought the unis were cool. Gotta like that kind of depth in a human.

Bowl slogan: “The Holiday Bowl: Stealing the thunder from bowls with more money since 1982.”

Little known fact: People in Oregon watch track and consider it quite the sport. It’s like their stinkin’ Europeans or something. That might explain your defense.

Watchability (1-5): 5

The Pick: Oregon 38, Oklahoma State 35

Bowl Preview: Texas Bowl

Texas Bowl
Reliant Stadium, Houston
Rice vs. Western Michigan
Date: Dec. 30
Time: 8 p.m.
TV: NFL Network
Line: Rice -3

About Rice: The Owls finished the season on a six-game win streak and kicked the crap out of UTEP and Houston. Huh. They also gave up 63 points to Tulsa and 52 to Texas.

Intangibles:
Chinese food: +6
Home game for all Owls fans: -2
Once coached by Ken Hatfield: -6


About Western Michigan: The Broncos, seemingly like every other team I’ve previewd so far, scores lots of points and plays no defense.

Intangibles:
In Michigan:: -3
Not near Ann Arbor: +4
Alma mater of Tim Allen: +2
I hated Tool Time: -3


Impact Player: Western Michigan QB Tim Hiller. Hiller is from Orrville, Ohio. So is Smuckers jams. My cousin works for Smuckers and lives in Orrville. Coincidence? I think not. Big game for Hiller.

Bowl slogan: “YeeHaw, Tex! This game sucks.”

Little known fact: The game MVP of the Texas Bowl gets a trophy AND a cowboy hat. Actually true. And a little gay.

Little Known Fact #2: This game is on the NFL Network, further guaranteeing nobody will watch it.

Watchability (1-5): 0

The Pick: Rice 41, Western Michigan 31

Bowl Preview: Humanitarian Bowl

Humanitarian Bowl
Bronco Stadium, Boise, Id.
Maryland vs. Nevada
Date: Dec. 30
Time: 4:30 p.m.
TV: ESPN
Line: Nevada –2.5

About Nevada: The Wolfpack hails from Reno and have wins over tremendous programs such as Grambling and Utah State. They managed to hold Missouri to 69 points. They’re already 1-0 in the state of Idaho, beating the Vandals, 49-14. I guess their best win is over Fresno State. Except that win isn’t that big of a deal.


Intangibles:
Casinos in Reno: +3
Rest of Reno: -5
Near Lake Tahoe: +6
Near rest of Nevada: -4

About Maryland: This team was so inconsistent, they should be on meds for bipolar disorder. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde would be offended to be compared to these loonies. Just when you thought they were going to be awful, they’d win a few. Then you’d think they were going to win, they’d lose to some suckass team. It was enough to drive Ralph Friedgen to eat … even more, I mean.

Intangibles:
Coach nicknamed “Fridge’: +2
Six fans traveling to Idaho: -1
Must protect their house: -3
School colors are red, yellow, black, white, green and blue: -2


Impact Player: Either Maryland QB Jordan Steffy or Maryland QB Chris Turner. I’m not sure which one starts any more. Whichever one it is – he should not suck if the Terps want to win. Or it could be WAC Offensive Player of the Year Nevada QB Colin Pumpernickle, er Copperhead, er.. Kamameajingleheimerschmidt. That guy. He’s pretty good.

Bowl slogan: “We didn’t expect you to come, either.”

Little known fact: That blue field annoys the crap out of me.

Watchability (1-5): 2.3

The Pick: Nevada 24, Maryland 23

Ken Norton is pissed

Rick Neuheisel has ticked off a lot of people during his rules-breaking career at Colorado and Washington. He says he's learned a lot from his past and he'll do things by the book at UCLA.

According to a story in the LA Times, now comes word that former UCLA great and current USC assistant coach Ken Norton is accusing Neuheisel of using Norton's name in recruiting pitches. Neuheisel's response was printed in Adam Rose's blog All Things Trojan.

It seems only natural that UCLA would love to have Norton leave the Trojans and return home. However, this seems like an odd way to achieve that goal. Norton may be at USC for a lot longer now.

Good job Rick.

Bowl Preview: Alamo Bowl

Alamo Bowl
AlamoDome, San Antonio
Northwestern vs. Missouri
Date: Dec. 29
Time: 8 p.m.
TV: ESPN
Line: Missouri –12.5

About Northwestern: Pat Fitzgerald is young and can coach. SOB was also one of the dirtiest players I ever saw. I wouldn’t let the Mizzou players get too close to that guy on the sidelines or they’ll get jacked in the junk. Other than that, Northwestern is actually a decent team. Not great, but they’re not totally deficient in any area. I miss those days.

Intangibles:
Evanston: +4
Constant blathering about “academics” and “student athletes”: -3
Brent Musberger: -5
The 1970s and 80s: +4

About Missouri: The Tigers can score. Like you wouldn’t freaking believe. They’re like a basketball team. A basketball team that doesn’t play in the Big 10. Defense, though. Uh, Gary, have you heard of tackling drills? Where you try to stop the guys in the other-colored jerseys? I swear. You’re allowed to touch them.

Intangibles:
Journalism school: +4
Constant blathering from alums about the journalism school: -6
New offensive coordinator and Carrollton High School graduate Dave Yost: +5
Any combination of unis with gold tops: -9


Impact Player: Mizzou QB Chase Daniel. Watching this dude freaks me out cause he throws so damn flat-footed. It’s weird. It makes him look like he’s parapalegic or something. But if he’s not throwing picks, they’re pretty tough to beat.

Bowl slogan: “San Antonio: It’s not excruciatingly hot in December.”

Little known fact: Missouri has played in two straight Big 12 title games. Really.

Watchability (1-5): 4.5

The Pick: Mizzou 48, Northwestern 40

Bowl Preview: Papajohns.com Bowl

Papajohns.com Bowl
Legion Field, Birmingham, Ala.
Rutgers vs. N.C. State
Date: Dec. 29
Time: 3 p.m.
TV: ESPN
Line: Rutgers –6.5

About Rutgers: Ray Rice is in the NFL, which means that his crazy Mom who wore the helmet and got her mug on TV every time he carried the ball is also gone. Thank God for small miracles. The Scarlet Knights started out the season as if they were unfamiliar with the game of football and the rules and regulations, losing frequently. By the end of the year, they were pretty damn good. That pains me to say because people from Rutgers are generally obnoxious.

Intangibles:
The Sopranos: +4
Coach looks like muscle guy from The Sopranos: +2
Not New York: -41


About N.C. State: Tom O’Brien has all the personality of a mayonnaise sandwich. SOB can coach though. At the beginning of the year, NC State knew one play. They ran it a lot. By the end of the season, they knew something like four plays. Now that’s progress. O’Brien has been good enough to take the Pack’s fans minds off of basketball.

Intangibles:
Research Triangle: -4
Not Duke, UNC or Wake: -3
Not arrogant like Duke, UNC or Wake: +3
Fired Coach Soprano: +2


Impact Player: Rutgers QB Mike Teel. There are times when Mike Teel looks like the worst QB to pick up a football since Chris Rix. Then there were the last six games of the season. Which one shows up? Got me.

Bowl slogan: “Have fun at the game and lock up when you’re done, y’all. Saban radio show is on that day.”

Little known fact: It took years of negotiation for the Papajohns.com Bowl to land the coveted Monday afternoon TV slot, competing with Oprah reruns. nice move, dickwads.

Little Known Fact #2: Papa Johns pizza is not good. At all. But if you dip it in that garlic sauce they send you, it's edible.

Watchability (1-5): 4

The Pick: Rutgers 27, N.C. State 21

Punter and actor

Florida State put up 42 points in crushing Wisconsin in the Champs Sports Bowl Saturday. But Seminoles punter Graham Gano was named the game's MVP. If you watched the game (or just watch the highlights below) and you'll see why.

Not only is he an excellent punter (and he'll probably get his name called during the spring NFL Draft), but a pretty good actor as well. Check out the great performance at around the 2:10 mark. There's no way the Wisconsin defender touched him.

Update: Bowl Standings

Just for fun and with the Independence Bowl still in doubt (La. Tech leads Northern Illinois 14-7), here is our second look at how each conference is fairing so far. Interesting to note that not a single SEC or Big 12 team has played yet. Maybe that does prove these were the best two conferences this year and why Florida and Oklahoma (should be Texas) are playing in the BCS Championship.

The Big 12's Missouri faces Northwestern in the Valero Alamo Bowl at 8 p.m. tomorrow. Vanderbilt will start things off for the SEC as the Commodores take on Boston College in the Gaylord Hotels Music City Bowl at 3:30 p.m. on New Year's Eve.

Here are the rankings so far:
Big East 2-0
Pac-10 2-0
Mountain West 2-1
ACC 2-2
Conference USA 1-1
Independents 1-1
Sun Belt 1-1
Big 10 0-1
Mid American 0-1
Western Athletic 0-3

(Photo courtesy of The Associated Press)

Last-minute Bowl Preview: Independence Bowl

Independence Bowl
Independence Stadium, Shreveport, La.
Northern Illinois vs. Louisiana Tech
Date: Dec. 28
Time: 8 p.m.
TV: ESPN
Line: Louisiana Tech –2.5

About Northern Illinois: The Huskies continued to field a football team this year despite not having Michael Tuner or Garrett Wolfe. Why, remains a mystery to many. N. Ill. Did have five players on the all-Academic MAC team. That’s nice, because they’ll need the degree.

Intangibles:
In Illinois: +1
Not in Chicago: -5
6-6:-4
5-3 in MAC: -7

About Louisiana Tech: They're in the WAC. They wear red and blue. I swear, is there a worse damn bowl game? This is pathetic. Would anyone have noticed if I didn't do this preview? Geesh.

Intangibles:
No McCown brother playing quarterback: -7
Karl Malone: -2
Forced to attend school in Shreveport, La.: -3
Cajun cooking; +6


Impact Player: La. Tech cornerback Tym Toussaint. I don’t know if he’s any good, but his parents have a nice sense of humor.

Bowl slogan: “Shreveport in December: for the cold drizzle lover in all of us.”

Little known fact: La. Tech head coach Derek Dooley is the head coach AND athletic director. If you’re at a school that makes you be the athletic director, you need to go to a better school. Unless it’s a Barry Alvarez-power play, then it’s all you.

Watchability (1-5): no rating. in lieu of watching, stab eyes out with ice pick

The Pick: La. Tech 35, Northern Illinois 24

Nicks: one-man highlight reel

If not for Pat White having possibly his best game ever (at least passing), North Carolina's Hakeem Nicks would have been the Meineke Car Care Bowl MVP Saturday. He had three play-of-the-day type touchdown catches for the Tar Heels, and potential ESPY nominee, first-down catch.

This was probably Nicks' final game as a Tar Heel since he should leave early for the NFL. While Nicks' performance against West Virginia in Charlotte wasn't enough to get past the Mountaineers (thanks to White's fourth-quarter TD pass to Alric Arnett), his one-man show should equate to millions more and possibly a late first round selection in the NFL Draft in April.

Not sold? Watch this nifty behind the back, one-handed grab for a first down.

Bowl Preview: Emerald Bowl

Emerald Bowl
AT&T Park, San Francisco
California vs. Miami, Fla.
Date: Dec. 27
Time: 8 p.m.
TV: ESPN
Line: Cal -8

About Miami: Watch Miami run. Fast, Miami, fast! Watch Miami stretch. Stretch, Miami, stretch! Watch Miami warm up. Run, Miami, Run! Watch Miami play football. Oooh. Never mind, Miami. Go home, Miami, go home.

Intangibles:
The Rock: +5
Michael Irvin: -6
Glenn Sharp pass interference in 2002: +50
Bernie Kosar wearing #20: +4

About Cal: Good running back. Rest of the team. Eh. Does it make Jeff Tedford a good coach that he has hardly any talent and has a good team or does it make him a poor coach that he doesn’t have any talent?

Intangibles:
Berkeley: +3
Oakland: -4
USC “challenger” in Pac 10: -6
Jeff Tedford QB genius: -5

Impact Player: Miami QB Jacory Harris gets his first shot at running the show as Robert Marve won’t be there for the Canes.

Bowl slogan: “Cramming two mediocre football teams into a baseball field ill-suited for football since 2002!”

Little known fact: Miami defensive coordinator is Bill Young. That SOB. One word, Bill – Biakabutuka.

Watchability (1-5): 4

The Pick: Cal 31, Miami 21

Not so fast Notre Dame

It's amazing how one (impressive) victory can alter everyone's opinion so fast.

Just 72 hours ago, we were talking about how Notre Dame didn't have a chance against Hawaii in the Sheraton Hawaii Bowl. How if the Fighting Irish lost Charlie Weis could still be in trouble of losing his gig as the BIG man in South Bend.

But ND didn't lose. The Irish looked every bit as good as a team stacked with blue chippers and five-star talents should. I watched the game on Christmas Eve and was flabbergasted with how ND looked like an elite team. The Irish were faster, bigger and played with more emotion than the Rainbow Warriors.

And did you see the way Jimmy Clausen played? He set Irish bowl records with 401 passing yards and five TDs as Notre Dame rolled to a 49-21 victory--ND's first postseason win in 15 years.

Now that I've had time to think about it, this performance shouldn't be such a surprise.

Notre Dame should destroy Hawaii. The Irish recruit elite players, who should be able to play at any of the best schools in the nation. Hawaii takes cast-offs like Colt Brennan and hope they develop into stars. What made ND's victory so interesting was that the Irish played with the emotion of a team needing to make a statement--even if it was in a bowl way below ND standards.

Now I'm hearing and reading about how this is the tipping point for ND football. That with all the Irish's returning players next year that they could be a big-time player in college football in 2009.

Bogus.

Remember less than 12 months ago when Georgia entered the Sugar Bowl with all kinds of hype and a chip on the shoulder for not being considered for the BCS Championship? The Bulldogs dominated the miscast Warriors 41-10, and the hype began for the Bulldogs. Mark Richt's team was anointed the favorite for 2008. We all know how well that went for UGA.

Now Hawaii has kick started the Notre Dame hype machine for 2009.

Over at the Bleacher Report, one writer is claiming that ND athletic director Jack Swarbrick's decision to stick with Weis was rewarded with Wednesday's victory. How low have the standards fallen among the Irish faithful that a road win over Hawaii saves a season? Here's how low. Notre Dame used to turn down bowl games like this, especially after a 6-6 regular season. Now they take the game to end bowl losing streaks.

What I think most will remember is that Notre Dame had lost five of its last seven, including an embarrassing 24-23 loss to Syracuse before the bowl win.

There's also talk that Clausen has resurrected his career with this performance. Clausen has a great arm, but he's overrated. Just like his brothers at Tennessee. He'll be the same Jimmy the next two years. Stop the Heisman hype now. He's not that good.

It was a good win. Notre Dame can go into the offseason on a positive note and the coaches can hit the recruiting trail with tales of playing in Hawaii. This isn't anti-ND. This is a reality check. Folks, it was just a win over Hawaii.

ND should have a good record next year. Look at this cakewalk of a schedule (the only tough game is Southern Cal at home). The Irish should be underdogs against Michigan State, Boston College and Pitt.

Notre Dame 2009
Sept. 5: Nevada
Sept. 12: at Michigan
Sept. 19: Michigan State
Sept. 26: at Purdue
Oct. 3: Washington
Oct. 17: USC
Oct. 24: Boston College
Oct. 31: vs. Washington State (at San Antonio, Texas)
Nov. 7: Navy
Nov. 14: at Pittsburgh
Nov. 21: Connecticut
Nov. 28: at Stanford

Even the schedules at Notre Dame have dropped well below Irish standards. So save the resurrection talk until Weis and the Irish win a meaningful game. Looks like the first shot at that is Oct. 17, 2009.

Bowl Preview: Champs Sports Bowl

Champs Sports Bowl

Citrus Bowl, Orlando

Wisconsin vs. Florida State

Date: Dec. 27

Time: 4:30 p.m.

TV: ESPN

Line: Florida State -5.5

About Wisconsin: The Badgers had a long overdue implosion this year, splitting into a thousand pieces after losing to Michigan (Michigan!), Ohio State and Penn State in consecutive weeks. That sound you heard was not Barry Alvarez’ offspring microwaving another parrot, though, it was the crushing weight of expectations falling on Bret Bielema’s ginormous head.

Intangibles:

Darrell Bevell at QB: +2

Jump Around: -4

Wisky marching band hazing: -5

Wisky marching band hazing by having chicks make out with each other: +9

About Florida State: Rumors abound that Bobby Bowden is still coaching this team. We call bunk on that one, unless you count wearing a letterman’s jacket and answering sideline reporter questions as “coaching.” Other than that, same old FSU. Can’t run or throw. On defense, stick 13 guys in the box and blitz.

Intangibles:

Tallahassee: -5

Burt Reynolds: +6

Lee Corso: -2

Chief Oscewhatshisface and flaming spear: +9

Impact Player: FSU quarterback Chris Rix. What’s that? Rix isn’t there anymore? Oh whatever, they all play like they’re Chris Rix. I’m still picking Rix.

Bowl slogan: “Orlando: the only reason to be in Florida and not be near an ocean.”

Little known fact: FSU offensive coordinator Jimbo Fisher didn’t get the Auburn job because he has a $5 million buyout as the “coach-in-waiting” for the Noles. I don’t even have a $12 buyout.

Watchability (1-5): 3

The Pick: Florida State 18, Wisconsin 16

Golden shower?

Did Dave Pasch, who did play-by-play during the Sheraton Hawaii Bowl, really say golden shower during the broadcast? Maybe someone needs to let him know the real meaning of golden shower.

Bowl Preview: Meineke Car Care

Meineke Car Care Bowl
Bank of America Stadium, Charlotte
West Virginia vs. North Carolina
Date: Dec. 27
Time: 1 p.m.
TV: ESPN
Line: West Virginia –1.5

About West Virginia: Gov. Joe Manchin is in his second year as head coach of the Mountaineers, calling plays by remote control through his animatronic puppet Bill Stewart. Manchin favors plays that let the greatest rushing quarterback in school history throw the ball quite a bit and not getting the ball to Noel Devine because he tends to score “too fast” and not give the defense a chance to rest up. He also likes his coach to be homespun and friendly and slightly racist – kind of like the rest of West Virginia. Rumors abound that if Stewart wins this game, Manchin will name him Attorney General.

Intangibles:
Weirton: -5
Snowshoe: +5
Borders Ohio: +10
Borders Kentucky: -8
Flaming davenports: +2

About North Carolina: (Full disclosure: I’m a Browns fan. F*ck Butch Davis.) That being said, the Tar Heels reminded me a lot of the Butch Browns – inconsistent as hell. Wipe out Rutgers, knock off Miami, get crushed by rival NC State at home. At least he can’t draft William Green.

Intangibles:
Cool unis: +5
Slightly gay unis: -5
Tyler Hansbrough: -4 (THAT’S AN OFFENSIVE FOUL, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD)
The Carl Torbush era: -2

Impact Player: Jock Sanders. I just think it’s funny his name is “Jock.” He’s one of that army of midget RBs and WRs WVU runs out on the field and they run around like Dorothy’s house just crashlanded in their backyard.

Bowl slogan: “At least it’s not UConn and Navy. That sucked.”

Little known fact: The last two times these teams met in a bowl, UNC won 20-13 in the 1997 Gator Bowl. The game MVP was UNC quarterback Oscar Davenport. Now, that’s a little known fact, mofos.

Watchability (1-5): 3.5

The Pick: North Carolina 21, WVU 20

MAC making history

With today's hiring of Mike Haywood at Miami of Ohio there are now six African American head coaches out of 119 NCAA Division I-FCS schools. Amazingly three of them are now employed in the Mid-American Conference. The other two are Turner Gill at Buffalo and the recently hired Ron English at Eastern Michigan.

So let's do the math.

That's three out of 13 head coaches in the MAC, or 23.1 percent. That's three out of 106 coaches outside of the MAC, or 2.8 percent. It's better than yesterday.

Let's be honest here. Haywood is getting a pretty sweet gig. Miami of Ohio has produced some of the greatest coaches in college football history. Any of these names ring a bell? Red Blaik, Sid Gillman, Ara Parseghian, Woody Hayes and Bo Schembechler. Thought you might have heard of them.

Haywood's reputation took a minor hit this season also, after Charlie Weis took over play calling duties the final three weeks of the season at Notre Dame. But the Irish offense didn't do any better with Weis, so Haywood was somewhat redeemed.

The former Lou Holtz player at Notre Dame interviewed for the Washington job earlier this winter, but Miami is a better fit and better place to begin his head coaching career. There is a lot of work to do, though.

Shane Montgomery, who took over for another successful Miami coach, Terry Hoeppner, isn't returning in 2009 after leading the RedHawks two 2-10 seasons in three years. But Miami is a program where a young coach can win and build an even stronger resume for the next move.

Right now, it looks like a good move by Miami.

Video: Off base at South Carolina

You produce a video like this if you are the 1995 Nebraska Cornhuskers. Or maybe if you are the 2001 Miami Hurricanes. But the 2008 South Carolina Gamecocks? Think not.

Steve Spurrier's South Carolina team is 7-5 and lost its final two games by a combined score of 87-20. The Gamecocks' opponent, Iowa, in the Outback Bowl is usually a tough bowl foe. The Hawkeyes are riding a three-game winning streak, including a huge 24-23 victory over Penn State, which kept the Nittany Lions out of the National Championship game.

So why would anyone put out a video like this? I hate SEC arrogance.

Bowl Preview: Motor City Bowl

Motor City Bowl
Ford Field, Detroit
Florida Atlantic vs. Central Michigan
Date: Dec. 26
Time: 7:30 p.m.
TV: ESPN2
Line: Central Michigan -6

About Florida Atlantic: Howard Schnellenberger still has a moustache. Howard Schnellenberger is 5-0 in bowl games. Howard Schnellenberger is 112 years old.

Intangibles:
Somewhere in Florida: -3
Near Atlantic Ocean: +1
Nicknamed Owls: +2
Know how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop: +THAREE!!

About Central Michigan: They’re nicknamed the Chippewas and they had a good season, until they lost the season finale to Eastern Michigan, 56-52. Yikes. That’s the same Eastern Michigan that fired its coach.

Impact Player: This came straight from the bowl game press release: “The Owls feature junior Quarterback Rusty Smith, who Coach Schnellenberger has called a pro prospect.” Yeah, so’s that jerkoff from Fresno State.

Bowl slogan: “We live in Detroit. What else you gonna do?”

Little known fact: Florida Atlantic won five of its last six. Including a huge win over Florida International at Dolphin Stadium in a South Florida Classic. Three of the four fans rushed the field.

Watchability (1-5): -3

The Pick: Central Michigan 39, Florida Atlantic 27

Bowl Preview: Hawaii Bowl

Sheraton Hawaii Bowl
Aloha Bowl, Honolulu
Notre Dame vs. Hawaii
Date: Dec. 24
Time: 8 p.m.
TV: ESPN
Line: Notre Dame –1.5

About Notre Dame: A plucky little private school from northeast Indiana, Notre Dame is new to this whole “bowl game” concept. The Irish are a squad filled with “student-athletes” who play for the “love of the game” and are usually too busy studying to have time to practice. With no local recruiting base, ND must scour the country for football players more interested in biology than blitz pickup. It was rumored many Irish players may stay home because they felt “dirty” by lowering themselves to wallow in the trash of Division I football.
Nah. I’m kidding. They just suck.

Intangibles:
Jimmy Claussen hair: +3
“Rudy”: -2
Dr. Lou: -4
Bagpipes: +4
Watching Notre Dame have to play in the freaking Hawaii Bowl on New Year’s Eve marking it as some kind of Christmas miracle: +45 points


About Hawaii: Lots of long hair, tattoos and taunting. They’re kind of like the Hell’s Angels. They’ll do the crazy war dance thing before the game. They’ll be lots of penalties and passes and horribly undisciplined football. At least we won’t have to hear the Colt Brennan slobberfest this year. And at least they aren’t wasting my time in a BCS bowl again either.


Impact Player: Notre Dame offensive line. And you thought Charlie Weis’ lake-sized pit stains were because of his morbid obesity. Hell no, it’s cause he’s had to watch these jagoffs try to block for the past two years.

Bowl slogan: “You can tell it’s Hawaii cause we make them wear those stupid shirts. And the leis. You better wear the goddam leis. It’s Hawaii. Every one wears the leis, jackass.”

Little known fact: Charlie Weis won several Super Bowls as offensive coordinator of the New England Patriots. Rumor has it he has several rings documenting this fact.

Watchability (1-5): 5!

The Pick: Hawaii 31, Notre Dame 29

Bowl Preview: Poinsettia Bowl

San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl
Qualcomm Stadium, San Diego
TCU vs. Boise State
Date: Dec. 23
Time: 8 p.m.
TV: ESPN
Line: TCU -3

About TCU: Texas Christian University is located somewhere in Texas (Forth Worth as it turns out) and is filled with Christians. As if Jesus would let anybody else in Texas. They’re nicknamed the Horned Frogs and that’s nice. Gotta have a nickname. There’s not much interesting about TCU. They’re pretty good, but you haven’t heard of any of their players or their coach.


Intangibles:
Strip bars: +6
Near Dallas: -4
Jesus on side: +8
Unless Mohammed is one true and only God: -8


About Boise State: BSU is this year’s whiny, crying non-BCS “but we’re undefeated, waaaah” school. BSU is undefeated, whipping up on schools like Northeastern Wesleyan Southern State and the University of Phoenix EA Sports squad.


Impact Player: Boise State running back Ian Johnson was the guy who asked the cheerleader to marry him after the big win over Oklahoma in the Fiesta Bowl a couple years ago. I was under the impression chicks thought the athletic event proposal was cheesy? Unfortunately, Johnson will not be able to duplicate the feat this year, since he doesn’t play for BYU. Hey-O!


Intangibles:
Blue turf: -2
Potatoes: +5
Soft powder: +3
Not Montana: +2

Bowl slogan: “A bowl game for all!… residents of San Diego County. Get a free checking account with four tickets!”

Little known fact: TCU was founded by a pair of brothers who were Confederate officers after the Civil War. I looked that up. I’m like a historian or something. Or maybe I’m like “The Librarian” with that Carter guy from ER where I fight ancient demons. That’d be awesome. But I’d probably have to leave my apartment.

Watchability 1-5 (1- Ghost Rider, 5-Smokey and the Bandit): 4.5

The Pick: TCU 28, Boise State 24

Grow up Sam

Troy's Sam Glusman didn't handled getting his 28-yard field goal attempt in last night's New Orleans Bowl with much class. Instead, Glusman looked like a kid taking his toys and going home. Sorry Sam. Grow up and show a little class. Troy lost 30-27 in OT.

Podcast: Episode 18

Because of the holiday season, Phil and Tom are podcasting a little early this week. Our Christmas edition is still full of interesting discussions on college football, including how Jacory Harris and the Hurricanes will do going across the country to face Cal in the Emerald Bowl.

We also discuss the bowl games that have already been played, as well as how much conference records in bowl games really determine the strength of each league. Also, how important is the Sheraton Hawaii Bowl for the future of Charlie Weis and Notre Dame? We also dish out some holiday cheer. Thanks again for tuning in to the best College Football Podcast out there.

’Eye stealing again

So who is brave enough to steal James Laurinaitis' PSP? I'd like to meet the brave soul. It could be 'Eye. He was a suspect in the lifting of Scoonie Penn's jersey during the 1999 Final Four in St. Petersburg.

Hey Phil, can you get me something from this year's swag bag?

Video: Tough break

Southern Mississippi's 6-foot-6 freshman receiver DeAndre Brown, easily one of the best recruits in school history (don't forget Brett Favre is a USM grad), had an outstanding 2008. Hopefully his future with the Golden Eagles isn't diminished after suffering a compound fracture during Sunday night's R+L Carriers New Orleans Bowl.

*** UPDATE ***

Word from The Clarion-Ledger is that Brown is expected to make a full recovery and be ready for next season.

******

Beware: Very graphic video (not the best quality), but still graphic.

Very early bowl standings

Some analysts believe you can tell what conference is the best by bowl game records. I think it's helpful, but by no means a true evaluation. Now BCS Bowl records are important (Big East 3-0 since 2006).

Here is an early look at conference standings in bowls as Southern Miss of Conference USA and Troy of the Sun Belt are knotted at 7-7 late in the first quarter.

ACC 1-0
Big East 1-0
Pac-10 1-0
Mountain West 1-1
Conference USA 0-1
Independents 0-1
Western Athletic 0-1

Bowl Preview: New Orleans Bowl

R & L Carriers New Orleans Bowl
Superdome, New Orleans
Troy vs. Southern Miss
Date: Dec. 21
Time: 8 p.m.
TV: ESPN2
Line: Troy –4.5

About Troy: Troy is in Alabama. It used to be called Troy State. We have now covered all there is to know about Troy. I even saw them play this year. I think they may have maroonish uniforms.

Intangibles:

In Alabama, but not Auburn or Alabama: +3
My Cousin Vinny: +7
Grits: -4
Almost beat LSU: -2


About Southern Miss: Southern Miss administrators fired longtime coach Jeff Bower last year because all he had done was make the Eagles a consistently respectable program that routinely finished above .500. They hired Oklahoma State offensive coordinator Larry Fedora (pictured above looking very manly), who brilliantly led Southern Miss to a 6-6 record and an appearance in the New Orleans Bowl. Meet the new boss, USM administrators, same as the old boss.

Intangibles:
Five-game losing streak: -5
Four-game winning streak: +4
John Grisham novels: -4

Impact Player: Troy quarterback Jamie Hampton. Why? Well, I had to pick someone didn’t I?

Bowl slogan: “Matching up teams 98 percent of the country doesn’t care about since 2001!”

Little known fact: Southern Miss scored 70 points against UAB this year. UAB immediately discontinued football, went home and cried itself to sleep.

Watchability (1-5): .4

The Pick: Troy 41, Southern Miss 35

Iowa State irony

So is this Jamie Pollard’s idea of a joke?

If it is, I love this guy.

A week after losing his head football coach to Auburn University, the Iowa State Director of Athletics is introducing Paul Rhoads as his new head coach of the Cyclones. Why is this so funny?

Well, Rhoads was the defensive coordinator for the Tigers last season, a job Gene Chizik held just a few years ago.

Let’s be honest, Rhoads does not have the coaching cred that Chizik had when he arrived in Ames. But don’t overlook the good work Rhoads has done. He did an excellent job at Pittsburgh, with minimal talent. He also put together the scheme that kept West Virginia out of the BCS Championship last year with that magnificent defensive performance in Morgantown in the season finale.

His Auburn defense was also strong this season, but the offense was so bad the job he did was overlooked. That seems to be his curse. While his defenses do well the teams he is with are usually bad.

A factor that could make him a better fit than Chizik ever was at ISU is that fact that Rhoads is an Iowa native, coached the secondary for the Cyclones in the late 1990s and he understands the challenges of Iowa State.

Joke or not, this is a pretty good hire. Iowa State may have gotten the better end of this deal. And $750K from Auburn to top it off.

TNT buddies take jabs at Barkley

I saw this at The Quad on the New York Times site. Pretty funny job of mocking Charles Barkley on the TNT NBA set, and using the shoe-throwing incident with President Bush. For those who don't know, Barkley has been pretty outspoken about his alma mater's hiring of Gene Chizik instead of Turner Gill at Auburn.