Bowl Preview: San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl

San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl
Qualcomm Stadium, San Diego
Utah vs. California
Date: Dec. 23
Time: 8 p.m.
TV: ESPN (of course)
Line: Cal -3

About Cal (8-4): This was the Bears' year to challenge for the Pac 10 title. Just like last year and the year before that, and the year before that, etc. Can you be a darkhorse if your're the darkhorse every single year? For some reason people think coach Jeff Tedford is some kind of QB guru. He's actually a running game guru. His QBs, however, stink.

Intangibles:
Chuck Muncie's rec specs: +3
Breeding ground for hippie, pinko Commie liberals: -2
Breeding ground of hippie, pinko Commie liberals who helped polarize this country with this whole "Any means to MY end" BS that runs our political system from both the right and the left. jerks.: -6

About Utah: The Utes didn't really beat any one of note outside of Air Force. Seriously. Air Force is their best win. I guess the positive is they didn't lose to anyone they shouldn't have. Or the positive could be that their schedule was a piece of shit. Either way really...

Intangibles:
Whole state of Utah: +4
Except for giant, dead, stinky lake: -3
Stockton and Malone: +2 (and one!)

Impact Player: Cal running back Jahvid Best won't be playing. Seeing as he was the best running back in the country, that's certainly impactful.

Bowl slogan: "Save .25 percent on your ticket by watching this game online!"

Little known fact: For the past three years, the winner of the Poinsettia Bowl has gone on the next season to be the really whiny non-BCS team that goes undefeated and throws a hissy fit about not being in the national title game. So watch out for Utah in '10.

Watchability (1-5): 2

The pick: Cal 31, Utah 24

Bowl Preview: Poinsettia Bowl

San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl
Qualcomm Stadium, San Diego
TCU vs. Boise State
Date: Dec. 23
Time: 8 p.m.
TV: ESPN
Line: TCU -3

About TCU: Texas Christian University is located somewhere in Texas (Forth Worth as it turns out) and is filled with Christians. As if Jesus would let anybody else in Texas. They’re nicknamed the Horned Frogs and that’s nice. Gotta have a nickname. There’s not much interesting about TCU. They’re pretty good, but you haven’t heard of any of their players or their coach.


Intangibles:
Strip bars: +6
Near Dallas: -4
Jesus on side: +8
Unless Mohammed is one true and only God: -8


About Boise State: BSU is this year’s whiny, crying non-BCS “but we’re undefeated, waaaah” school. BSU is undefeated, whipping up on schools like Northeastern Wesleyan Southern State and the University of Phoenix EA Sports squad.


Impact Player: Boise State running back Ian Johnson was the guy who asked the cheerleader to marry him after the big win over Oklahoma in the Fiesta Bowl a couple years ago. I was under the impression chicks thought the athletic event proposal was cheesy? Unfortunately, Johnson will not be able to duplicate the feat this year, since he doesn’t play for BYU. Hey-O!


Intangibles:
Blue turf: -2
Potatoes: +5
Soft powder: +3
Not Montana: +2

Bowl slogan: “A bowl game for all!… residents of San Diego County. Get a free checking account with four tickets!”

Little known fact: TCU was founded by a pair of brothers who were Confederate officers after the Civil War. I looked that up. I’m like a historian or something. Or maybe I’m like “The Librarian” with that Carter guy from ER where I fight ancient demons. That’d be awesome. But I’d probably have to leave my apartment.

Watchability 1-5 (1- Ghost Rider, 5-Smokey and the Bandit): 4.5

The Pick: TCU 28, Boise State 24