Bowl Preview: Hawaii Bowl

Sheraton Hawaii Bowl
Aloha Bowl, Honolulu
Notre Dame vs. Hawaii
Date: Dec. 24
Time: 8 p.m.
TV: ESPN
Line: Notre Dame –1.5

About Notre Dame: A plucky little private school from northeast Indiana, Notre Dame is new to this whole “bowl game” concept. The Irish are a squad filled with “student-athletes” who play for the “love of the game” and are usually too busy studying to have time to practice. With no local recruiting base, ND must scour the country for football players more interested in biology than blitz pickup. It was rumored many Irish players may stay home because they felt “dirty” by lowering themselves to wallow in the trash of Division I football.
Nah. I’m kidding. They just suck.

Intangibles:
Jimmy Claussen hair: +3
“Rudy”: -2
Dr. Lou: -4
Bagpipes: +4
Watching Notre Dame have to play in the freaking Hawaii Bowl on New Year’s Eve marking it as some kind of Christmas miracle: +45 points


About Hawaii: Lots of long hair, tattoos and taunting. They’re kind of like the Hell’s Angels. They’ll do the crazy war dance thing before the game. They’ll be lots of penalties and passes and horribly undisciplined football. At least we won’t have to hear the Colt Brennan slobberfest this year. And at least they aren’t wasting my time in a BCS bowl again either.


Impact Player: Notre Dame offensive line. And you thought Charlie Weis’ lake-sized pit stains were because of his morbid obesity. Hell no, it’s cause he’s had to watch these jagoffs try to block for the past two years.

Bowl slogan: “You can tell it’s Hawaii cause we make them wear those stupid shirts. And the leis. You better wear the goddam leis. It’s Hawaii. Every one wears the leis, jackass.”

Little known fact: Charlie Weis won several Super Bowls as offensive coordinator of the New England Patriots. Rumor has it he has several rings documenting this fact.

Watchability (1-5): 5!

The Pick: Hawaii 31, Notre Dame 29