Bowl Preview: Outback Bowl

Outback Bowl
Raymond James Stadium, Tampa
Northwestern vs. Auburn
Date: Jan. 1
Time: 11 a.m.
TV: ESPN
Line: Auburn -8

About Auburn (7-5): The Tigers/War Eagles/Plainsmen brought in a new coach in Gene Chizek and after being a complete disaster at Iowa State, Chizek was at least passable in his first year at Auburn. The T/WE/P have crazy Gus Malazahn's wacky offense and score lots of points.

Intangibles:
Bo Jackson: +4
Brent Fullwood (look it up, kiddies): -2
Terry Bowden: -2
Terry Bowden in that hat and tie: -4

About Northwestern (8-4): This is probably the biggest bowl for NOrthwestern since the Wildcats went to the Rose Bowl in the mid-90s. NU doesn't do anything great, but they aren't bad at anything. Pat Fitzgerald, who was one of the dirtiest MFers you ever saw play, is a decent coach.

Intangibles:
Pompous alumni: -3
Windy as hell off lake: -2
1980s: +3

Impact Player: Northwestern QB Mike Kafka. This is where I make some witty Franz Kafka reference to show how well-read I am. Except I don't really remember anything by Kafka that I might have read. Maybe something about a jungle? Anyway, Kafka - good runner. Needs to complete some passes too.

Bowl slogan: "We're got a Pirate Ship!"

Little known fact: This game is a complete academic mismatch. I'll let you figure out which way.

Watchability (1-5): 3.6

The pick: Northwestern 35, Auburn 30

Hey, watch where you stick that yard marker

The 'Eye probably gets the Big Ten Network and watches meaningless games like Minnesota and Northwestern. But the sideline mics do a good job of picking up the chatter of the players and coaches. Turn up your volume and listen to what Minnesota’s Simoni Lawrence says after almost impaling himself on a yard marker (not a shocker here, but it’s NSFW).

Bowl Preview: Alamo Bowl

Alamo Bowl
AlamoDome, San Antonio
Northwestern vs. Missouri
Date: Dec. 29
Time: 8 p.m.
TV: ESPN
Line: Missouri –12.5

About Northwestern: Pat Fitzgerald is young and can coach. SOB was also one of the dirtiest players I ever saw. I wouldn’t let the Mizzou players get too close to that guy on the sidelines or they’ll get jacked in the junk. Other than that, Northwestern is actually a decent team. Not great, but they’re not totally deficient in any area. I miss those days.

Intangibles:
Evanston: +4
Constant blathering about “academics” and “student athletes”: -3
Brent Musberger: -5
The 1970s and 80s: +4

About Missouri: The Tigers can score. Like you wouldn’t freaking believe. They’re like a basketball team. A basketball team that doesn’t play in the Big 10. Defense, though. Uh, Gary, have you heard of tackling drills? Where you try to stop the guys in the other-colored jerseys? I swear. You’re allowed to touch them.

Intangibles:
Journalism school: +4
Constant blathering from alums about the journalism school: -6
New offensive coordinator and Carrollton High School graduate Dave Yost: +5
Any combination of unis with gold tops: -9


Impact Player: Mizzou QB Chase Daniel. Watching this dude freaks me out cause he throws so damn flat-footed. It’s weird. It makes him look like he’s parapalegic or something. But if he’s not throwing picks, they’re pretty tough to beat.

Bowl slogan: “San Antonio: It’s not excruciatingly hot in December.”

Little known fact: Missouri has played in two straight Big 12 title games. Really.

Watchability (1-5): 4.5

The Pick: Mizzou 48, Northwestern 40

This is just odd

Sure, it's just September. But these conference standings are just odd, especially the teams on top. I know it won't hold, but still interesting.

SEC East
Vanderbilt (4-0, 2-0)
Georgia (4-1, 1-1)
Florida (3-1, 1-1)
Kentucky (4-0, 0-0)
South Carolina (3-2, 0-2)
Tennessee (1-3, 0-2)

Big Ten
Northwestern (5-0, 1-0)
Penn State (5-0, 1-0)
Ohio State (4-1, 1-0)
Michigan State (4-1, 1-0)
Michigan (2-2, 1-0)
Purdue (2-2, 0-0)
Minnesota (4-1, 0-1)
Wisconsin (3-1, 0-1)
Iowa (3-2, 0-1)
Illinois (2-2, 0-1)
Indiana (2-2, 0-1)

Big East
Connecticut (5-0, 1-0)
Pittsburgh (3-1, 1-0)
South Florida (5-0, 0-0)
Cincinnati (3-1, 0-0)
West Virginia (2-2, 0-0)
Rutgers (1-3, 0-0)
Louisville (2-2, 0-1)
Syracuse (1-4, 0-1)