Pioneer Las Vegas Bowl
Sam Boyd Stadium, Las Vegas, Nev.
BYU vs. Arizona
Date: Dec. 20
Time: 8 p.m.
TV: ESPN
Line: Arizona –3
About Arizona: The Wildcats are coached by Mike Stoops, or as he’s known in the family, “The Ugly One.” Stoops finally got the Cats to a bowl game this year, saving his job. He relies on a sucky offense and a porous defense. Get ready for about 70 wide receiver screens. That’s the only play I’ve ever seen them run.
Intangibles:
Tucson: +3
Lute Olson controversy: -3
Women’s softball: +4
Torturous summer: -8
About BYU: I can officially say I have been to Provo, Utah now and let me tell you – it’s got a small mountain AND a football stadium. That’s pretty much it. It’s not quite the same as Las Vegas. I wonder if strip clubs are against the BYU code of conduct. Probably not. “Happy Birthday, Jesus! Oh crap, I’m out of ones.”
Intangibles:
Magic underwear: +7
Tabernacle choir: +4
No caffeine: -9
Impact Player: The BYU quarterback. What’s his name? Robbie Bosco or something? Hell, I don’t know. They’re all the damn same. 6-1, mediocre, accurate arm, at least 26 years old because they’ve been in Australia for four years. Suck if they’re hit or there’s any kind of pass rush. Been that way for 10 years. Who coaches that team anyway? The ghost of Lavell Edwards?
Bowl slogan: “Is that your quarter? It’s mine now, sucker.”
Little known fact: Legendary entertainer David Hasselhoff will sing the National Anthem at this year’s game. Nope. I’m not even making this one up.
Watchability (1-5): 10 (just for Hasselhoff anthem) then 3.5
The Pick: BYU 34, Arizona 20
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1 comment:
Would have given Zona a few more intangible points for softball. You ever see how hot some of those chicks are?
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