MAACO Las Vegas BowlSam Boyd Stadium, Las Vegas
Oregon State vs. BYU
Date: Dec. 22
Time: 8 p.m.
TV: ESPN (who else?)
Line: Oregon State -2.5
About the Beavers: For the second straight year the Beavers were a game away from the Rose Bowl. Last year they ended up in El Paso. This year, Vegas. A slight step up. OSU is led by a pair of midget brothers, Jacquizz and James. Seriously, how do you name one kid James and the other JACQUIZZ. Either both the kids get crazy names or neither.
Intangibles:
"Beaver" jokes: +1
Mike Riley as coach: +3
Mike Riley as Chargers coach: -4
About BYU: The only school in Division I that has a coach named after a horse (Bronco Mendenhall), BYU once again beat the living beJezus out of the crap-ass dog teams on its schedule, such as Utah State, San Diego State and Oklahoma. Although the Cougars did beat rival Utah, but losing to FSU — at home? Ouch. Makes you want to take a two-year mission to Australia.
Intangibles:
Special underwear: +2
No caffeine, alcohol, tobacco or cursing: -6
Mormonism/Scientology possibly same religion?: -2
Impact Player: BYU QB Max Hall. In the grand tradition of former BYU quarterbacks such as Steve Young, Robbie Bosco, Ty Detmer and Marc Wilson, Hall should try to not be a complete dog in the bowl game. Especially Detmer who has both shoulders separated by Texas A&M after winning the Heisman. Ha. Both shoulders. That still makes me giggle. Does that make me a bad person?
Bowl slogan: "What stays in Vegas is your money, suckers."
Little Known Fact: One of the sponsors of the Las Vegas Bowl is a ventriloquist named Terry Fator, who has a puppet named "Winston, the Impersonating Turtle." Sinatra would be proud.
Watchability (1-5): 3
The Pick: BYU 29, Oregon State 24
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