Bowl Preview: MAACO Las Vegas Bowl

MAACO Las Vegas Bowl
Sam Boyd Stadium, Las Vegas
Oregon State vs. BYU
Date: Dec. 22
Time: 8 p.m.
TV: ESPN (who else?)
Line: Oregon State -2.5

About the Beavers: For the second straight year the Beavers were a game away from the Rose Bowl. Last year they ended up in El Paso. This year, Vegas. A slight step up. OSU is led by a pair of midget brothers, Jacquizz and James. Seriously, how do you name one kid James and the other JACQUIZZ. Either both the kids get crazy names or neither.

Intangibles:
"Beaver" jokes: +1
Mike Riley as coach: +3
Mike Riley as Chargers coach: -4

About BYU: The only school in Division I that has a coach named after a horse (Bronco Mendenhall), BYU once again beat the living beJezus out of the crap-ass dog teams on its schedule, such as Utah State, San Diego State and Oklahoma. Although the Cougars did beat rival Utah, but losing to FSU — at home? Ouch. Makes you want to take a two-year mission to Australia.

Intangibles:
Special underwear: +2
No caffeine, alcohol, tobacco or cursing: -6
Mormonism/Scientology possibly same religion?: -2

Impact Player: BYU QB Max Hall. In the grand tradition of former BYU quarterbacks such as Steve Young, Robbie Bosco, Ty Detmer and Marc Wilson, Hall should try to not be a complete dog in the bowl game. Especially Detmer who has both shoulders separated by Texas A&M after winning the Heisman. Ha. Both shoulders. That still makes me giggle. Does that make me a bad person?

Bowl slogan: "What stays in Vegas is your money, suckers."

Little Known Fact: One of the sponsors of the Las Vegas Bowl is a ventriloquist named Terry Fator, who has a puppet named "Winston, the Impersonating Turtle." Sinatra would be proud.

Watchability (1-5): 3

The Pick: BYU 29, Oregon State 24

Picks of the Week: No. 12

Here we go again. Not too many more weeks to improve the overall record. So let’s see if we can find a little magic in this week’s picks.

Rutgers (-9.5) over Syracuse
Syracuse is looking to avoid going winless in the Big East, but the Orange won’t pick it up a against a revitalized Rutgers team that is led by freshman QB Tom Savage, who has thrown 10 TD passes and only two interceptions. If the Scarlet Knights win out they’ll finish third in the league and own a 10-2 mark. The ‘Cuse have been ravaged by injuries and the defection of WR Mike Williams. First-year coach Doug Marrone has not given up on QB Greg Paulus, who has thrown 14 interceptions.
Pick: Rutgers 31, Syracuse 9

Temple (-10.5) over Kent State
The Owls are riding an eight-game winning streak and need a win here to remain on top of the East Division heading into a key showdown with Ohio. RB Bernard Pierce leads the Owls with a freshman record 1,308 yards and 15 touchdowns on 223 carries. The Golden Flashes are 5-5 and still have a chance to become bowl eligible. But it’s Senior Week at Lincoln Financial Field so the Owls will win and cover.
Pick: Temple 38, Kent State 20

Air Force (+10.0) over BYU
Air Force’s defense must be ready to stop the BYU passing attack to have a chance in this one. Stopping senior QB Max Hall (2,857 yards, 23 TDs) has not been easy this season. But the Falcons have held TCU (20 points) and Utah (16 in regulation) in close losses. That’s why this game should be closer than the spread. BYU’s defenses under Bronco Mendenhall haven’t fared well and this season is no different (ranked 78th nationally).
Pick: BYU 38, Air Force 35

Georgia (-8.5) over Kentucky
It’s not often these two enter this game at 6-4, but the Bulldogs have struggled on defense all season and Kentucky has been unpredictable. Both teams can secure a winning season with a win, but Georgia looks to honor the fallen UGA VII, who died this week. Another factor playing in Georgia’s favor is the improved running game the past four weeks. Let’s not forget this simple fact: Kentucky has not won in Athens since 1977.
Pick: Georgia 34, Kentucky 21

Upset of the Week
LSU (+4.0) over Mississippi
This is a tough pick because we still don’t know if LSU QB Jordan Jefferson will play or not. I don’t like LSU’s chances if it has to start Jarrett Lee. But let’s go out on a limb anyway. The Tigers can’t win the SEC, but there is still plenty to play for this season. Win out and LSU is probably a Top 8 team and will be favored to win the SEC next year. Then there is Ole Miss, who entered the season with astronomical expectations and it was easy to see a massive failure on the horizon. Jevan Snead has been mediocre this season and he’ll need a big game to win at Vaught-Hemingway Stadium.
Pick: LSU 24, Mississippi 21

Last Week: 3-2
Season Record: 29-26

Bowl Preview: Pioneer Las Vegas Bowl

Pioneer Las Vegas Bowl
Sam Boyd Stadium, Las Vegas, Nev.
BYU vs. Arizona
Date: Dec. 20
Time: 8 p.m.
TV: ESPN
Line: Arizona –3

About Arizona: The Wildcats are coached by Mike Stoops, or as he’s known in the family, “The Ugly One.” Stoops finally got the Cats to a bowl game this year, saving his job. He relies on a sucky offense and a porous defense. Get ready for about 70 wide receiver screens. That’s the only play I’ve ever seen them run.

Intangibles:
Tucson: +3
Lute Olson controversy: -3
Women’s softball: +4
Torturous summer: -8


About BYU: I can officially say I have been to Provo, Utah now and let me tell you – it’s got a small mountain AND a football stadium. That’s pretty much it. It’s not quite the same as Las Vegas. I wonder if strip clubs are against the BYU code of conduct. Probably not. “Happy Birthday, Jesus! Oh crap, I’m out of ones.”

Intangibles:
Magic underwear: +7
Tabernacle choir: +4
No caffeine: -9


Impact Player: The BYU quarterback. What’s his name? Robbie Bosco or something? Hell, I don’t know. They’re all the damn same. 6-1, mediocre, accurate arm, at least 26 years old because they’ve been in Australia for four years. Suck if they’re hit or there’s any kind of pass rush. Been that way for 10 years. Who coaches that team anyway? The ghost of Lavell Edwards?

Bowl slogan: “Is that your quarter? It’s mine now, sucker.”

Little known fact: Legendary entertainer David Hasselhoff will sing the National Anthem at this year’s game. Nope. I’m not even making this one up.

Watchability (1-5): 10 (just for Hasselhoff anthem) then 3.5

The Pick: BYU 34, Arizona 20